A Great Interview


The kitty has nothing to do with anything, except isn’t she sweet?

I had a great job interview today.  I feel so happy about it.  I actually do want the job now that I have been to their offices and met with them.  We had a fairly jovial interview, with some intense moments.  They had a list of 10 questions, most of which I answered easily.  They frequently said “well, you just covered this in the last question, but….”  I think I was on the right page with them.  Their eyes lit up several times as I was talking.

I won’t know until mid-December.  I may not get the job.  One of the three interviewers was not quite as impressed with me.  And they had others to interview this afternoon.  So, we shall see.

I can feel good about an interview that went well.  And if God wants me to have the job, I will get it.  If not, something else will happen.

Thanksgiving is coming soon.  I will have both of my daughters with me which is a great blessing.  We are going to see the Hunger Games movie at an AMC theater (with the red leather recliners), in the morning, then will come home and quickly assemble dinner.

My menu this year is semi-healthy.  Except I decided to have a ham instead of turkey.  And I will probably bake a pie.  I am actually selling a couple of pies to a friend for Thanksgiving!  We will have roasted brussel sprouts, butternut squash, cranberry sauce, and a salad.


I tried to write this yesterday and got so frustrated with WordPress I left it and decided to try find the draft this morning.

Last night I could not sleep.  All night a couple of uncomfortable moments from the interview kept playing in my mind.  At 3:00 a.m., I threw in the towel on getting any sleep and just got up.

After being in their offices I really want the job.  I need to let go of it in the next couple of weeks until I hear whether I got it or not.  Yesterday I thought I definitely had it.   In the night, that all changed and I felt that I will never ever get another job in my life.  And I will be destitute and lonely and life will be horrible forever.  My mind is my enemy from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m.

Must let it go.  God is all or he is nothing.  In my life I can decide which I believe.  I definitely believe he is all, and it follows that I will have faith that all is as it should be.

Say a prayer if you are so inclined?  Thank you.








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Red Sky in the Morning

This was the sky from my back porch this morning.  There is a big storm predicted this evening and into tomorrow.  Depending on who you listen to, we will have either 2 to 4 inches of snow, or 2 to 4 FEET of snow.  I panicked when I heard this on Friday night and spent another $70. on yarn for socks I am knitting for Christmas.  

The realities of retirement are hitting me now.  As much as I don’t want a job, I really need to have a job.  Not only financially, but emotionally.  I need to have people to talk to.  I am lonely in this house.  

I am still waiting for the job that was virtually promised to me – in August.  If not for that, I would have probably arranged my life for retirement.  I would have a part time job by now.  I would at least have volunteered at church for something – anything.  

On a happier note, I have rejoined the running club I belonged to for years.  I am training for a spring half-marathon and considering a fall marathon.  It helps greatly with my self-image.  Yes, I am retired, but I am TRAINING for a half-marathon!  And I have time to do the training correctly.  Actually accomplish the mileage assigned on my training plan.  I can get out in the middle of the afternoon when it is 60 degrees, and the trails are not crowded.  The trails – where I had a close encounter with a rattlesnake last week!  YIKES.

Life is good.  God is always present, always loving, and always merciful.   

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First Snow

I woke to snow this morning.  It is just a bit of snow, sticking just a bit since it has been so warm.  Of course, I failed to bring in my favorite geraniums, so they are covered with snow.  Hopefully not ruined.  I had planned to try to winter them indoors.   The Christmas cactus I brought home from my office is doing well, it actually has buds on it and should bloom sometime around Thanksgiving.  The African Violets aren’t doing as well, but hopefully they will adjust to my home instead of my office.

I am going to apply for jobs today.  Something weird is going on with the good-paying job I didn’t want but would have to take if it was offered.  I am pushing that off my mental table and proceeding with my life.  I want and need a part time job.

Nearly everyone I know has suggested I get a job in a yarn store.  It is funny but I don’t want to work in a yarn shop.  I have never had that desire.  I would hate for knitting to become my livelihood.  Knitters are weird people (myself definitely included) and having spent a lot of time in my local yarn shop since I retired, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t want to deal with them all the live long day.

I have been at home sick for over a week now.  I am bored beyond tears.  I guess you can see that for yourself, I am writing about my house plants!  Holy cow!

On Saturday morning, I will be going out with my running group.  I am very much looking forward to that!

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Early November


Tuesday morning.  Third of November.  Record high temperatures expected again today.

Despite this, I am sitting indoors, with the fireplace making a lame attempt at warming my perpertually cold body.  I came down with the flu a week ago.  It’s been awful and depressing.  Since I am out of the workforce, no one nagged me to get a flu shot, and I just didn’t do it.  I didn’t think of it.  Darnit.

The day before the flu hit me like a semi, I signed up for the winter season of the running club with which I have spent many happy hours.  I really want to do at least one half marathon in 2016, and being a part of this group is the best way I know to get t here.  Not only do the work involved in the training, but surround myself with healthy happy like-minded people.

I went to my favorite local running store last week to get a new hat for the winter, and was so happy when this wonderful world-class runner, an actual race-WINNER, greeted me by name and asked me what races I’ll be doing in 2016.  Oh yeah, I am part of something.

Oh no,  I am not being humble when I call myself a “back-of-the-packer,” it’s the truth.  I have finished last on more than one occasion.   There was a time when I thought I would die if that happened, but I learned that I can survive.  My hope, of course, is not to finish last.  But I would rather have a Dead-Last-Finish than a Did-Not-Finish.   And I would rather be healthy.

One time the same runner referenced above really shocked me.  He asked me how the race we had just done was.  I sheepishly told him that I finished last, and his face lit up as he told me “Then you had the most fun!” Meaning that I was on the course the longest, therefore had the most fun.  Awesome way to look at it.  Of course, he is having the least fun as he wins… I doubt that.

I must find a job, and the one I thought was a sure thing seems not to be.  I don’t want to work full-time and I don’t want a serious job.  I will wait until next week because I still do not feel well.

Life is so good.  I can’t believe how very different my life is today, and how my mood and attitudes have changed.  It is nothing short of miraculous!

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My Favorite Month

This is the shawl that nearly destroyed my love of knitting.  It is finally finished and I love it.  It is a blend of wool and  silk and feels heavenly.  
This photo is from  yesterday’s hike.  All the prettiness of summer is gone.  It is hot, but there is a feeling on the wind that things will be changing.  The snows will be here soon.  

The above photo is from a hike taken at Rocky Mountain National Park last week.  It was a Ranger guided hike, and was just delightful.  We learned all about elk rutting ritual, saw evidence of bears finding a home for winter, and got to view the beautiful golden aspens.  

This is my favorite time of the year.  It has been so wonderful to be retired and get to experience it fully.  

All the years I spent worrying about retirement – what a waste of time!  I am not bored.  I am not lonely.  I do not feel that my “productive” years are over.  I feel fabulous!  I marvel every morning when I wake up and wonder what I should do that day.  

I either have enough money or I don’t.  I actually don’t.  But I am not short by much, and a little job could definitely fill the gap.  I had wanted to take at least September and October off.  In November I will get serious about a job.  

Yesterday I got the e-mail about the job that’s been on the horizon.  It will be posted this week.  They hope I am still interested in applying.  Of course I am, because I kind of have to be.  I cannot turn down that kind of money.  If I got the job, I could pay off my debt in a year or more, and then I could TRULY retire and have this beautiful life that I have been living for the last six weeks.  If I don’t get the job, I will have a little party for myself, because I don’t really want it.  

It is amazing the energy I have when I am not fighting those awful battles every day.   I didn’t know I was fighting a battle, but every day was a moral battle just to survive the day.  Thank God That Is Over.  The further I get from it, the more awful I realize it was.  Awful.

And now it’s not.  Thank you God.


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Full Moon Monday

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September is Almost Over

A little bit of trepidation has entered into my lovely retirement.  The month is nearly over, and although I thought November would be a perfect time to get another job, I must admit, I am a little nervous.

The job that looked to be a sure thing before I retired doesn’t sound quite so sure now.  Still another week or two before it is posted though.  Part of me wants it, and part of me is terrified.  It is the same type of job that I had “downtown,” that disastrous episode in my life.  But most of what I disliked “downtown” was the politics.  I think this would be different.  Who knows?  Not me. The ladies I worked with downtown took me out for lunch last week to celebrate my retirement. That was so nice.

I thought of doing remote coding because in my heart of hearts I really do not want to work in an office (or hospital) again.  I can tailor my resume to make it look like I have tons of coding experience, but the truth is, I supervised coders, I rarely actually coded.  I could get a certification as a coder with a little bit of studying, and an investment in books and an expensive test.  If you wonder where I get the arrogance to flippantly suggest that, I am really really good at taking tests. When I took my RHIA exam, I had the highest score in the state, and I was the first to finish. I think testing well is a skill in itself that doesn’t necessarily translate into being good at anything.

I am praying for God’s guidance and the discernment to recognize it. I’ve thought many times – this is a chance to totally change my life, what the heck do I want to do. Me. No one else. I don’t need to make tons of money, but frankly, it needs to be more than minimum wage. What I would like is a high paying job that I work a few days a week. There is one of those on the horizon that may or may not pan out. That would be more of the hell I was enduring in my career, but on a very limited basis.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to work as a church secretary? Or in a women’s shelter? Or any number of places that would make me feel like I was doing something meaningful that actually helps people.

What I really wish is that I did not have to go back to work. I was not financially ready to retire when I did. (I still have no regrets.) I need to work for at least a year or two to get debt paid off and get Medicare. It costs $530. a month for my insurance now. Yikes.

As it is, it is Friday morning. I am going to Mass now. I may hit a noon meeting later on. My back is killing me from all the endless miles I am hiking, so I might not work out today. I have the DVR set to record Pope Francis addressing the UN. I will watch that later today. His visit to the US has been so amazing.

Thanks for listening to me process.

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