Another Year, Another Tulip

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This brave little soul just decided to bloom today.  It is 73 º outside, so it has been fooled.  It is supposed to be nearly 80 tomorrow, and then a huge snowstorm on Wednesday.  Ah, life in Colorado.

An old blogger contacted me today and it was just so good to feel connected to the blog again.  It is really silly to not post anything anymore.  I get discouraged when people don’t read, but usually someone reads my posts, and if I posted more, I might get new readers, you never know.

I am going back to work in 2 weeks.  I am more grateful than words can say.

I need money, I am not good at living within my means, and having my granddaughter move in has just blown up my budget – to put it mildly.  I am very grateful that my 20 year + employer has asked me to come back again.  For the 3rd time.  It is a permanent part time position and I am so excited about it.

I need to be engaged in the world.  I need to have a place to go and people to see.  I have volunteered for many things at church, but it just isn’t the same as being gainfully employed.

The most amazing things have happened in the last 8 months.  I have grown tired of knitting!!  Of all the things to happen, this surprises me the most!  I cannot watch TV for more than a few minutes because I find the current political environment so infuriating, frustrating, and terrifying.

My sober daughter is drinking again, and it is my worst nightmare.  Just horrifying.  Her 19 year old daughter is living with me.  She has some pretty dreadful PTSD and depression.  She feels like a full time job, but I am so very grateful I have the space and the means to take her in.  She was completely out of places to go.  I think she is getting much better with the stability and calmness of my home.

Can I just tell you that daughter decided about a year ago that she really could smoke pot and still be sober.  That lasted a couple of months before she was drinking again.  After over 9 years of sobriety.  And she is back where she was years ago.  She is a bad drunk and I am so scared for her.  I *should* go to Alanon and take my granddaughter with me.

It seems that at least in Colorado newer people are smoking pot and considering themselves sober.  I guess because pot is legal.  But sober is sober, and smoking pot is not sober.

So that is it in a little nutshell.  I hope to hear from one or two or more of you.

 

This entry was posted in Garden, Gratitude, Sobriety, Spring, Weather, Work. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Another Year, Another Tulip

  1. teetro says:

    Ah, well. Glad to see you writing again. I have been reading your blog for many years. I think since about 26th year sober? Can that be right ? Just wrote a rather long comment that disappeared as I tried to post and WordPress demanded new and better passwords. Repeatedly. So for now, just know how that I will continue to read. Thanks for sharing.

  2. daisyanon says:

    Hi there. So happy to see a post from you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I often think of things you have written, especially about AA and this has helped me get some perspective on difficult situations.
    So sorry to hear about your daughter and grandaughter but glad that your grandaughter has a place with you.

  3. Nancy G says:

    Hello there, so glad to see your blog in my incoming mail! Your thoughts are very insightful and heartening. I share a lot of your experiences and am enhanced by your input.
    Please keep writing! You are valued and loved!
    Nancy from Cali

  4. Hopester says:

    It’s so good to read your blog this morning. It sounds like some hard stuff to deal with. I am glad for you that work opened up again. You matter in my life. Your honesty about the journey is a comfort to me.

  5. SUSAN MASSON says:

    Hi Mary! So sorry to hear about your daughter. When I got sober, in 1987, I used to hear all the time ” you can’t be high and sober at the same time”. Now I never hear that any more, unless I am saying it, and ruining someones day.. AA has changed, sadly. I can’t wait to never have to work again. I will have plenty to do. Best of luck back in the working world! Hope you are not buried under the latest snow storm. Enjoy the day.

  6. Mary says:

    Mary,

    So glad to see this post. I’ve missed your thoughts. Happy to hear about your part time work … I would like something like that eventually. I like to work but would like less than 40-50 hours a week. It is surprising that you’ve gotten tired of knitting … hope you find something fun to take its place. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter … I hope this is short lived and she’s back into a life of sobriety. But so nice that you can provide you granddaughter a safe place … I have no doubt her health is improving in your home and you have so much wisdom to pass on to her.

    Mary

  7. quillain says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I’ll keep you both in my thoughts during the next few days off the Triduum — hoping that your and her situation will move from darkness into light.

  8. Good to see you back! Retirement isn’t always what you think it will be, right? Glad you found other things to fill your time. I’ve had my 4-year-old grandson for the same reason. Prayers for our children and grandchildren. Sandra

  9. quillain says:

    I hope work is going well for you!

  10. finney53 says:

    I hope things are going well and y’all have gotten to an Alanon meeting.

  11. Syd says:

    Mary, I am sad to read that your daughter has gone back out. I know how much you love her. It’s good that you have your granddaughter with you and can provide a stable place for her. I hope you decide to take her to Al-Anon. It can help with the PTSD from another’s drinking. Sending good thoughts to you.

  12. Tam says:

    Yes! You are back ❤️

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