I am writing right now because my right hand hurts too much to knit. Seriously, this is ridiculous. I am beginning to feel like Job. But Job was gracious and faithful when he said:
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” — Job 1:21
No, I am not gracious and faithful like Job, I am grumbling a bit. I made an appointment to see my doctor and started making a list of things that are going awry with my body. There are ten things on the list – so far. Some are pretty huge, like chronic severe back pain. Oh, and loss of use of my right hand? I would call that major. Some are not so major? Just pain. Dizziness. Hair loss.
It is my belief that these problems are being caused by Fosamax. I started it 14 weeks ago. In that time, I feel like I have gone from being a healthy, energetic, active, fairly happy person – to being an old woman who isn’t able or willing to do a whole lot of the things I love.
It seems like rather a cruel irony that I happily anticipated retirement because then I would have time to do the simple things I love. Nothing huge like traveling the world or jumping out of airplanes. Just going to mass in the morning, being more present in my loved ones’ lives, knitting, sewing, cooking, gardening, and triathloning. And the time is here and I don’t feel well enough to do most of these things most days. In the last month some vague and nebulous aches have turned into big fat problems. I just don’t feel good at all!
Tomorrow I shall see my doc. My hope is that she will say “Gosh! Most or all of this is being caused by Fosamax! Just stop taking it right now!” That’s my hope. But I am a bit worried, and I need to get it checked out.
Now maybe if I stop taking Fosamax I will find out we don’t actually have a hateful lunatic in the White House? You think that could happen? OK, never mind. But I am done being quiet about it.
Please, if you can, say a prayer for me? I either need to get well or get OK with not being well. Or get good with God’s will…. hummmmm, that has always worked before, maybe it will be again?