This is the icon of Archangel Raphael that I spent last week painting. I got very critical of my skills and did some of those horribly self-defeating comparisons in the class. The student body was mostly composed of professional artists. I am not accustomed to looking around and seeing that my work is substantially more primitive than others. They all turned out well, and in the end I was pleased with mine.
If I had spent any time at all practicing brush strokes prior to the class, it would have been so much easier. I did struggle in this class, it was not the peaceful, spiritual experience I was hoping for. It did however give me an appreciation for the soft landing that is my current job.
Not that I am any less anxious to retire.
But if I stop to think about this job, I realize what a miracle it has been for me.
If only I could stay in gratitude all the time.
I can make an effort to do that, and I will.