First Monday in May

Just starting my training for an August Triathlon.  I am severely out of shape.  Did my first brick workout last weekend.  5 miles on the bike followed immediately by a one mile run.  Cuz those distances are actually challenging to me now.  I have a lot of work to do in the next 3 months.

My mountain bike is my friend.  It is so much less scary than a road bike.  It feels stable and secure.  Last year I could not ride at all because I was recovering from a broken arm.  Now I can ride again.

When I went for the first ride, I felt elation, serious elation.  It wasn’t just that I was doing something I love and have missed.  It felt like I was tapping back into my identity.  My real self.  The self I really really enjoy being.  Not the old worker who is tired all of the time, but the happy woman in the sunshine.

I don’t care how hard I’m breathing, I am breathing, and I’m doing something and being someone I love.

I think I decided yesterday to retire in December regardless of where I am with paying off debt.  I spoke with an acquaintance after mass yesterday and she looked stricken when I told her I am not enjoying my new job.  She looked at me and sincerely asked why I don’t quit if I don’t like it.  Good question.  I think I have fallen back into the trap of living a life I don’t enjoy.  Which translates, to me, As “I don’t trust God, I must provide for myself.”

I am truly grateful that the snow will end soon and there will be sunshine and flowers in my life again.  And I have lots of activities to get back in the sunshine for.

This entry was posted in Gratitude, Retirement, Training. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to First Monday in May

  1. dr24hours says:

    YAYAY!!! I have started training too but I don’t have any bricks on the schedule for a while. When should I start them?

  2. Syd says:

    Glad that you are making a decision to retire. It sounds as if that is a really positive thing. Living your life to do what you want to do is good.

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