These Last Few Days

A rose in my neighbor’s garden.  If you use flash, it looks like it is glowing in the dark!

I have four (work) days left before retirement, counting today.  It is getting down to the wire.  I have only one performance eval left to do, and I shall do that today.  The rest of the time will be mainly spent trying to leave something coherent for someone else (who hasn’t yet been hired) to pick up and go with.  Actually, two someones.  They will split my job in two.

There are lunches every day. I said I didn’t want a party, and I don’t.  But people sure are taking me out for lunch!  It is fun, but fattening.  I finally broke down and had a big luscious burger yesterday – with fries.  I only ate half of it, but still.

I have alternated between complete peace and utter terror.  Sometimes within a matter of moments.  I have to fight the slave driver voice that is always present, telling me I am being a “quitter.”   I have to really really fight the feeling of being wronged.

I am in control of the narrative I leave with.  I am determined to leave without bitterness.  I want to look back on a career and feel that it was successful, because it was, and that it was “well-done.”  I’ve been told that by several people and it means a lot.

The hospital director asked me to come back and work as a contractor once they hire my replacement, so that I can adequately train the person.  I said yes.  But only part time, and only very temporarily.   It may or may not happen.

There is likely a job that I will gladly take within a month or two.  It is a good job, with an entirely new entity.  I don’t want to say more than that.  But it looks like I will land on my feet.

Mass almost every morning is helping greatly.  So are my meetings.

On my first day of retirement next week, I signed up to chair the 6:30 a.m. meeting.  Then I shall go to Mass.  Then I have a lunch date with a man.   And somewhere in there, I will get a work-out in.

I am so looking forward to my next life.

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5 Responses to These Last Few Days

  1. Annette says:

    I was just thinking about you yesterday and how it’s all getting closer! I look forward to hearing about your retirement adventures! : ) it’s a big change, that’s for sure….but my guess is it’s going to be wonderful!

  2. daisyanon says:

    So happy to hear it is all working out for you Mary. I love this “I am in control of the narrative I leave with. I am determined to leave without bitterness.”

  3. Syd says:

    Yes, the next life is a good one for me. And I hope that it is for you as well. Only so many years left. Might as well enjoy each day.

  4. Mary LA says:

    When an elderly priest friend retired, his congeagation sung this and it came to me as i was praying for you, Mary Christine. I am so glad to hear of new opportunities opening for you.

    • Thanks so much Mary. I plugged my phone into the car stereo and listened to that in the car, over and over and over again.

      (Yes, I sometimes read comments while stopped at red lights.)

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