It’s been a rough week

The priest listened to me calmly as I cried this morning.  Usually a fan of the traditional confessional, I chose the face to face instead.  Last week I walked out of a Catholic Church having been offended by the (30 minute) homily of the priest at the church in Montana.  Never in my life have I walked out of mass.  Well, now I have.   He chose the mass to talk about politics.  He said nothing I could not have heard on CNN or ABC news.  Nothing spiritual, nothing about God.  Just his opinion for 30 minutes.

The supreme court decision of Friday is disheartening to me.  I don’t care what homosexuals want to do, but I do care when the highest court in the land throws all their force behind it.  It is not possible to disagree without being labeled as a “hater” or “religious bigot.”  There is no more freedom of speech.  I mourn for our country.

It is only a matter of time before the government will attempt to tell churches who they must marry.  Just like they can tell someone who to bake a cake for.  Religious persecution will come to the US of A, and it won’t take long.

I have been holed up in my house, talking with no one but family since Friday.

Usually a friend from AA goes to mass with me.  He is a gay man.  It has NEVER been an issue for either of us until today.  I didn’t contact him to see if we were on for this morning, and he did not contact me.  He would not have wanted to be at mass this morning.

I must not pretend to agree with something I don’t agree with.  What is this going to cost me?  What is the price?  I don’t want to lose my relationships with gay people (men and women) I love.

I watched in horror on Friday as my catholic friends’ facebook profile photos turned to rainbows.  Rainbows everywhere.  The word “LOVE” being thrown around everywhere.  Unless you disagree.

HATER, RELIGIOUS BIGOT.    These are the words of the LOVE and tolerance people when someone disagrees.

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7 Responses to It’s been a rough week

  1. Annette says:

    Mary I wish so much that I had written this articate and LOVING post. You courageously shared what is in my heart but I couldn’t find the right words or the right way to say them.

  2. Mary – I’ve been reading your blog(s) for several years now. Your posts about sobriety have helped me a lot, and I think of you as a kind of sobriety mentor. We are on opposite sides of the gay marriage issue, but I wanted to chime in — as a lesbian, as a fellow alcoholic — to say that I honor your pain. I don’t consider you a hater or a religious bigot. My dad was a southern baptist minister. He died in 2003, and one of the last things he ever said to me was “we can’t know everything.” He reminded us both, in the end, that it wasn’t our job fix the world, to “save” each other. That’s God’s work. Our job is to trust God, clean house, and help others. You do a good job, Mary. You’ve taught me so much. Thank you.

  3. Syd says:

    I appreciate what you write, MC. I believe in Live and Let Live. And I hold no grudges against those who disagree. I feel no hatred or malice towards those with differing views from me. We are doing what we can to live a life of peace and compassion, even though I fail in my humanness. There are no easy answers because we humans are so complex and flawed and yet magnificent in many ways.

  4. Patricia says:

    Such truth from everyone here. I am happy for my gay friends particularly those who are elderly or have children. The level of fear they lived with for each other in times of ill health or family discord was painful to watch. I hope this gives them peace. I also hurt for all those who disagree and are being labeled haters. It seems we have lost the ability to have a reasonnable disagreement in this country!!!! Our leaders are bullies on multiple talk shows and forums . . . tearing each other apart for simply different positions. And we wonder why the kids bully . . .

  5. Mary LA says:

    I come from a different place because I have had to live in a society with no respect for human rights — people often aren’t aware that in South Africa many lesbian and gay people have been murdered for their orientation and in many African countries they can be imprisoned and put to death. The Catholic church here has distanced from rightwing evangelical fundamentalist positions because it understands that if society affords the secular rights of marriage and divorce to people who not not Christian, those protections need to be extended to others.

    I do understand your pain Mary Christine — but I also know you are not directly affected in that you won’t be denied the right to be next-of-kin or a spouse if your partner is dying in hospital, you won’t have your relationship denied or ignored by the family of your partner, you don’t have to live in the closet for fear of losing your job, you don’t have to face bigotry and homophobia each day amongst work colleagues and the public. It isn’t easy for heterosexuals to appreciate the very real oppressions experienced by those of us who are ‘different’.

    The issues around LGBT rights is a global battle and a very important one. I fought very hard politically to get a constitution that affords freedom from discrimination in my country and I would resist any attempt to have those freedoms taken away.

    One reason women like myself were able to get sober in AA is because in AA we do not discriminate against anyone on any grounds whatsoever. And outside issues are not allowed to divide the membership, even when those outside issues are ‘inside’ for many of us. In that way AA and Al-Anon are wiser than many of our churches.

  6. I appreciate the comments here.

    I should have been more clear (as usual). I am happy for the civil rights granted.

    I am extremely concerned about the government’s overbearing insistence and draconian punishments for those who do step in line with everything they mandate.

    I am concerned that the Catholic Church in the US will be forced underground. That is my pain. And my personal pain from trying to do things within the extremely limiting confines of the church, and realizing that the joke was on me. A very personally expensive joke.

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