Sunday Morning

More roses in the future…

My right hand is wrapped in a filthy bandage which won’t be removed for another 10 days.  I am trying to clean my house and cook and do yard work with a left hand and a painful dirty bandaged right hand.  No, I am not feeling particularly gracious about this.  But, I do realize that vacation is not as ill-timed as I may have thought.  I will not be cooking or cleaning.  I will not be pruning, mowing, or clipping.  I will be sitting in a car and walking around beautiful places.  I will be holding small children on my lap.  I will be hugging children of all ages.  It will be good.

I went to confession yesterday afternoon.  Many think confession is all about guilt and self-recrimination; asking a priest for forgiveness rather than God himself.  To me, it is such a blessing.  I went to confession because I missed mass last week.  I was sick, but I went to have coffee with a friend, so how sick is that really?  So I went to confession.  I also threw in the “not being kind and loving and feeling angry” part that I feel like I always confess.  The priest was so wonderful when he said that these things do not happen overnight and that I can do one concrete action every day… like calling someone who could use an encouraging word.  Something simple.  Something doable.  What a freaking great idea!  So I wrote some letters this morning.  I will make some calls later.  I can definitely do that every day.  I am grateful for that simple suggestion.

For us in AA, that ought to be so simple.  But as time goes on, it becomes less and less simple.  I look at the new people in my group and I am so happy for them.  There is a whole herd of them who came in around the same time last year.  Some of them have already celebrated a year.  Some have had relapses and are at 6 or 9 months. One of them died (drunk) over the Memorial Day weekend.  They have each other.  Those relationships are so important and so valuable.  They learn together.  They learn from each other.  A sponsor or some other elder is wonderful, and necessary, but those peer relationships are the glue that hold it all together.

For me, I think there are only about 10 of us left from my home group in those early years.  Some moved away, some left AA.  Sadly, I think most of them are dead.  I have some dear friends from those early days and I treasure those relationships.   My sponsor has no one left – except her husband.  After 42 years of sobriety, they are the sole survivors.  So sad.  And wonderful, don’t get me wrong.  Sober for an alcoholic beats all alternatives.

I am grateful for Max.  He told me to form strong relationships with the people who were new with me.  Thank God I didn’t hang on the coat tails of the long-timers – I would have no one now!

It’s time for exercise: treadmill or trail?   Believe it or not, I’m picking treadmill because I don’t want to fall or anything with this hand.  I need to healthy come Wednesday.  Hit the road day!


This entry was posted in Aging, Faith, Sobriety. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sunday Morning

  1. Mary LA says:

    Precious relationships —

  2. Syd says:

    I wonder what my meetings will be like in another decade or so. My wife and I have lost many friends in our programs. I too value those who remain.

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