Another Rainy Morning

This is my most beautiful rose.  This year’s first bloom is a little bit hail battered, but still beautiful.  I just went outside to take a photo for the blog and there it was.  So, there I was, kneeling in the garden, in the rain, in my pajamas, taking its picture.

I’m going back to work this morning after 5 days off.  I will work for 4 days, and then be off for another week.  I’m glad.  My work e-mail pops up on my phone and I didn’t stop them for the 3 days off for surgery.  Late yesterday I saw that someone made a very vague complaint about my department to the biggest of all shots.  Right up there at the Governor level.  And their complaints are hitting the newspapers.  But I have DATA.  I have asked my staff to run it first thing this morning.  I can prove their complaint to be not applicable to my department.  But I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Last night I had to fight a feeling of impending doom.  That might be one of my least favorite feelings in the world.
Trusting Infinite God rather than our finite selves….  that will allay any fear I may have.  Worst case scenario?  My own little domain will be made a public disgrace, I will lose my job, and instead of a retirement party at a time of my choosing, I will pack up my office at a moment’s notice and have safety escort me out of the building that has been my second home for the last 21 years.  I will leave in shame.

Well, as you can see, I am very good at filling in all the details of the worst case scenario.  But, if I trust God, I can know that he has a plan for me.   I can rest assured that there is a reason all of this is happening.  I may not like it and it may not be pleasant, but I can walk through it with the help of God.

You see, I am not one who believes that if I am a believer, God will spare me of all difficulty in life.  I read the lives of the Saints, and their lives were not sunshine, rainbows, and abundance!

In my life, I have had plenty of difficulties, and I know that it has all turned out “ok” so far.  There have been twists and turns I could never have anticipated.  Most of the things I have worried about have never happened.  But plenty have.  Worry has not impacted that in the least, it has just wasted my time and ruined precious hours.

I will get dressed for the day, and look as good as I can.  I will march into work and snap into action.  At this moment, I have no doubt that I can have a report in my hand by 9 a.m. that will prove that the allegations made may apply to the “other” hospital, but not to mine, and that my department functions at a very high level.   And I will trust God that it is exactly the way it should be.

❤️, mc

This entry was posted in Fear, Roses, Work. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Another Rainy Morning

  1. Nancy says:

    Prayers for you today, Mary. I will pray that you feel God right along side you as you deal with the demands of today.

  2. Syd says:

    I hope the best case scenario prevails. I am an optimist about so many things. Maybe it is genetic.

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