I was planning to ride my bike to work this morning, but realized last night when I took a trial spin around the block that my arm is not quite healed enough for a long bike ride. Darn it. Maybe in another month or two.
It is a gorgeous morning. I am enjoying it from my dining room table at the moment. A nice cool breeze, the birds are singing, it’s great. I will work out tonight after work. My poor body is tired right now. I went out and took photos of the rosebuds that are popping all over my garden. In another few days I will have roses!!!! You will be seeing photos of them!
Yesterday I got a series of rude e-mails at work from someone who has an agenda. She wants someone else to do a part of my job and finally thought she had proof that I had been negligent. She blasted off e-mails and copied everyone under the sun, including the hospital director. THANK GOD I just chalked it up to her being her, and didn’t get too upset. Oh, don’t let me give you the idea that I wasn’t mad, because I was. I just didn’t allow my anger to show. We had differing opinions on whether something was a health insurance portability and accountability act violation. (not using the acronym for obvious reasons) Later in the day, I needed the director’s signature on something and popped into his office. He surprised me when he asked if I would like him to speak to this woman’s supervisor about the tone of her e-mail. Oh, sure, go ahead, if you would like.
I was so grateful I hadn’t gone running to him or anyone else to complain about it. It will work itself out. Thank God I was able to keep my ego from doing anything more destructive.
The Old Testament mass readings this week have been from Tobit. It is my favorite book of the Bible. (It is an Apocryphal book, so may not be in all Bibles.) Some people call it more of a fairy tale than a book in the Bible. But I love it. Tobit can’t stop himself from being the man he is, the man God intended for him to be, even though it costs him his standing in the community, the scorn of his wife, and his eyesight. He prays a prayer I feel like praying from time to time:
Command that my spirit be taken up, that I may be released from the face of the earth and become dust. For it is better for me to die than to live… Tobit, 3:6
But God has heard his desperation and has wonderful things planned for him and many others.
I am in this place of trusting God on an entirely different level. A new level. I have been here before, but this is new, and feels different. Hence the dream about jumping off a ten story building the night before last.
Writing here is helping me with the process. I am so appreciative to those who come by and read, and particularly those who leave comments. It helps to ease the sense that I am all alone out here.