In a bit of trouble here


Last week Thursday I found myself in a bit of a scary mess.  Running around like a nut as usual, I found that I had left the house without my phone.  I was at a medical appointment, and rifled through my tiny purse looking for my phone.  I went back home and found the phone, but later in the day, I realized I was missing the envelope containing $500.  that had been in my purse earlier.  I spent the rest of the day not knowing where the money was.  I did find it later, but it was a horrible feeling to not know for a full work day and then adoration.

I went and visited my boss and told her I need a mental health day.  I feel like I need a mental health LIFE.

I took Friday and tried to be slow and deliberate about everything.  I did run a few errands, but then I also read a lot.  I sat in the sun.  I took a nap.  All the things that make life good.

The fence got fixed on Friday night and Saturday.  I put a 4 hour limit on my work on Saturday and my neighbor ended up working on it for nearly 10 hours.  I feel like I owe her the universe.  I am going to make her a meal later this month, pack it in a picnic basket and bring it to her.  I don’t know what else to do.  I feel indebted to her.  I am projecting that she is feeling resentfulness towards me.  I hate that this fence has made our relationship uncomfortable for the first time in 13 years.

I can’t go fast anymore.  I just can’t.  I get nervous and anxious and then I lose my mind.  I have to kick it down to a nice slow 3rd gear.  Not overdrive.  Not 4th, and definitely not 5th.

This is part of why I haven’t been blogging.  It takes a lot of time.

And now, I am two minutes late for my workout.

Adios, have a beautiful day if you can.  If you can’t, try to sit for a minute and rest in the knowledge that God loves you.  (That helps me in troubled times.)

This entry was posted in Depression, Friends, Rest. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to In a bit of trouble here

  1. Dede says:

    Peace be with you Mary.

  2. Syd says:

    Feliz Cinco de Mayo, MC. I like taking things slow and not rushing about. I just don’t want to do that anymore. What doesn’t get done today will get done tomorrow.

  3. Annette says:

    Well remember, your sweet neighbor started the whole fence thing, bless her heart. She probably feels so relieved to have it repaired! But dinner is such a nice idea…a peace offering, a gift of appreciation and love. You are so wonderful Mary!
    I’m so glad you took a day off and have yourself some time to just be. The lost money would have had me in a panic for sure!

  4. atomicmomma says:

    Dinner is a really nice idea but you remember….your neighbor stuck her nose in this business and started this mess. I’d do dinner because you are a wonderful cook.

    Yes on rushing. I asked my 76 year old aunt if she thinks we, this younger generation are nuts for the way we move and schedule nonstop. She agreed. Love reading your words Mary. 🙂

  5. Micky says:

    Mary i’m sorry to hear about your depression but it did make me laugh to think about a mental health life. i feel the same way often!

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