Back to Work

 

IMG_7805Yes, my tulips have made their way through another winter and are in bloom.  They are such a delightful flower, so hardy, and pretty.

Back to work this morning after five days of blissful vacation.  I really need to continue until I am 65.  That is just a little over 2.5 years.   I have never not wanted to go back to work after a few days off.  But right now I would be delighted to stay home and clean and knit.  That is what I would love to do today.

I don’t know what will happen.  I can plan anything I want, that doesn’t mean it will happen.  For now, it seems like working until December 1, 2016 is the most reasonable thing to do.  One day at a time.

I used to be able to provide myself artificial goals.  I would register for a race months out and then train for it.  I would focus on that race as if it were the sole purpose of my life.  I loved that. If I needed to travel to get to the race, all the better.  I would have laser focus.  I am currently registered for a race in June that I think I may bail on.  I just don’t care.  I don’t think I want to do it.  No one is doing it with me, my triathlon days may be as over as my marathon days are.  That is not what I want to do with my life.

What the heck DO I want to do with my life?  I am not sure.  I know that working is no longer what it used to be in my life.

This is sort of like trying to know “what I want to be when I grow up” in reverse.  I want to be a post-grown up, I just have to figure out how to have enough money to do so in relative comfort.

I’ll tell you what I am grateful for:

  • I got sober when I was 32 years old
  • It took about 10 years to get well enough to get and keep a job
  • I got a job with a 401K and fixed benefit retirement
  • For most of those years, I really loved my job
  • I will have 20 years on the job in September
  • I CAN retire any time I want, but it would be smarter to wait
  • And most of all the Hand of a Loving God who will guide me even when I try to not let Him.  I just have to listen and be willing.  And I think I can do that.

 

 

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5 Responses to Back to Work

  1. Annette says:

    I hope that your first day back goes well. I hope that you were missed and will be further appreciated in the coming days. You have a case of senioritis…..the last few months of the last year of school and the kids are just done!
    Your tulips are beautiful!

  2. Hugs to you! I hope your day went well.

  3. wendy says:

    I’m definitely at a different stage of life, but I hear you on all of this. And thank you for sharing it.

  4. atomic momma says:

    Love the raised bed!!! Cannot wait to watch it bloom.

    I think you’re sort of been there, done that on some things that sustained you over the years and the running races may be part of it. You’re not quitting, just moving on. I think you are also itching to try some other activity. What about Tai Chi? If you continue to swim that will be wonderful too.

    Your tulips are beautiful!!!!

  5. Syd says:

    Another chapter of life, MC. It’s good to change things up and move to something different. The tulips are beautiful. We had them in Virginia but they don’t do well here in SC and are only annuals.

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