Pondering Lent

IMG_5939Lent begins tomorrow.  I am still pondering what I shall do to observe it.  Last year I had the most meaningful Lent of my life.  I gave up buying clothes, which I just thought was one of those frivolous things, like giving up candy or pop.  What I discovered was that I had a very sick relationship with clothing.  I bought more clothing than I could ever use.  I charged them all.   I realized that I never said to myself “I WANT this or that,”  it was always “I NEED this or that.”  I have clothes in my closet that still have the tags on them.  I still have a $1,400. bill with Talbot’s, which is where I liked to buy clothes.  I paid off Ann Taylor last month – finally!

I also prayed the Rosary every day.  It doesn’t sound like a lot.  But when you are suffering terribly, and you truly meditate on the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary, it is amazing what happens.  Maybe not for everyone, but it was amazing what happened to me.

This year my inclination is to go to Mass or Adoration every day of Lent.  But I am concerned that this will only add an additional 2 hours of running around like a nut to my every day.  I did this several years ago and found it to be wonderful.  I could also commit to meditating every single day of Lent, but I find my mind to be such a wasteland of daily details (what’s for dinner? etc.), past regrets, and worries about the future, these things blow around like debris in a ghost town when trying to meditate.

Here’s what else I am concerned about.  I think I ought to be doing the following:

  • work out every day
  • eat better than I am currently eating
  • make better efforts to get to work earlier than I do
  • spend more time with my grandchildren
  • keep my house sparkly clean like I used to
  • keep up my budget and thrift and paying bills
  • keep up with my work better than I am.

I drive myself crazy with these thoughts.  These are all things I used to manage without much difficulty.  All of that seems difficult right now.

In other words, I am clueless about Lent at the moment, but I have a whole day to ponder it.  Any suggestions?


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8 Responses to Pondering Lent

  1. jackie says:

    Morning, Mary
    No suggestions but i can say that you are not alone in your list. As I read each one of them i went check, check, check. I am 55. Until a few years ago I could juggle more than most. I did an awesome job at work, I kept my house wonderfully clean. Hit the gym, tried to eat right… blah, blah, blah. Somewhere in the midst, i was hit with depression, that i still fight today. Like mirrored sisters (if you will). So, as you ponder and we go throughout our day, I will think of your list and ask for clarity for you and peace for both of us. Who knew (sobr*#%) could be this challenging.

    • Thanks for sharing this Jackie. I tend to think I am alone – I mostly hang around with people much younger than I am. I think aging is challenging – thank God I am sober for the process!

  2. It strikes me that you have exactly 7 items on your bulleted list. What if, instead of committing to trying to ONE of them PERFECTLY during Lent, that you instead commit to doing each of them a bit better, focusing your intention on one item per day so that you rotate through all seven each week? So, for instance, if your daily intention is to spend more time with your Grandkids, you could take the time to write them each a card and mail it off on Grandkid Intention day; and if your intention is to eat better, you can focus on eating better for one day of the week, instead of trying to eat a perfect diet for all of Lent?

  3. Mary LA says:

    My wish for you this Lent (and the same for myself) is that we experience a deepening of love and trust in God — and that you be kind to Mary. You do try so very hard and never give yourself credit for that.

  4. Syd says:

    Bringing you closer to God—how about posting a photo for each day of Lent that indicates God’s presence and then describe in your blog how this brought you closer to God. I find nature and beauty in people and the world bring me closer to my HP. Just a thought.

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