Lent begins tomorrow. I am still pondering what I shall do to observe it. Last year I had the most meaningful Lent of my life. I gave up buying clothes, which I just thought was one of those frivolous things, like giving up candy or pop. What I discovered was that I had a very sick relationship with clothing. I bought more clothing than I could ever use. I charged them all. I realized that I never said to myself “I WANT this or that,” it was always “I NEED this or that.” I have clothes in my closet that still have the tags on them. I still have a $1,400. bill with Talbot’s, which is where I liked to buy clothes. I paid off Ann Taylor last month – finally!
I also prayed the Rosary every day. It doesn’t sound like a lot. But when you are suffering terribly, and you truly meditate on the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary, it is amazing what happens. Maybe not for everyone, but it was amazing what happened to me.
This year my inclination is to go to Mass or Adoration every day of Lent. But I am concerned that this will only add an additional 2 hours of running around like a nut to my every day. I did this several years ago and found it to be wonderful. I could also commit to meditating every single day of Lent, but I find my mind to be such a wasteland of daily details (what’s for dinner? etc.), past regrets, and worries about the future, these things blow around like debris in a ghost town when trying to meditate.
Here’s what else I am concerned about. I think I ought to be doing the following:
- work out every day
- eat better than I am currently eating
- make better efforts to get to work earlier than I do
- spend more time with my grandchildren
- keep my house sparkly clean like I used to
- keep up my budget and thrift and paying bills
- keep up with my work better than I am.
I drive myself crazy with these thoughts. These are all things I used to manage without much difficulty. All of that seems difficult right now.
In other words, I am clueless about Lent at the moment, but I have a whole day to ponder it. Any suggestions?