Dilemma

Oh dear.  My young friend from the running club got married.  Her reception is on Saturday.  I had planned to go.  She has two masters degrees in sustainability and works in that field.  Hence, she sent out an electronic invitation.  It linked to a website which said the event would be casual.

I hadn’t realized that their actual wedding was going to be in Thailand.  It was last week.  Gorgeous photos on Facebook of them riding an elephant, etc.   She’s a beautiful young woman, and I am so so happy for her.

Yesterday I got an e-mail from her that went out to all of the guests.  They were getting a lot of questions, so they answered them.  In the middle of this info is “dress: cocktail attire.”  Cocktail attire?  I do not own a cocktail dress and I do not intend to buy one.  I have pondered this and I think it means I am not going to the wedding.  And I am OK with that.  She would be the only person there I know.  She is young and trendy and a drinker (I think she MIGHT be a future fellow), and I wasn’t sure I was going to love her wedding.  I just wanted to go to show her I care.  I do care, but not enough to ruin my budget for a dress I will never wear again.

The next dilemma is, do I lie to her about my reasons for not being there? It would be so easy to tell her I am sick and heartbroken I can’t make it.  Or the more honest, “something came up, and I am not able to make it.”  I hate this.   Any suggestions?

Work is insane this week.  I am eating my way through it.  My desk now has a drawer with pretzels and licorice in it.  I am now drinking coffee in the middle of the day.  And on Monday, I had a Diet Pepsi relapse.  I hadn’t had one since the first of the year.  I might have more before this is over…..

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4 Responses to Dilemma

  1. Chenai says:

    Hi Mary. If it’s casual does it really matter if you wear something other than a cocktail dress? I mean, if she is young and trendy I am sure the definition of cocktail attire is loose enough that another nice outfit will be fine. BUT if it’s really the drinking and the strange company that you are shying away from, perhaps you should just say you aren’t feeling well.

    My cousin is getting married next month and has a dress code in the incitation that involves only certain colors. All my aunts are really upset about it, but I keep telling them if they don’t have the clothes they can just show up wearing something else. (But I am rather relaxed about things like that, so I could be giving awful advice…..) Hehe, I hope you are well.

  2. atomic momma says:

    Something else did come up and you can’t make it: your life. It’s okay to decline without having some other place to be.

  3. lulu says:

    My advice would be that if you want to go, just put on a dress or a skirt and go. I’ve been to “cocktail attire” parties and seen everything from sequins to slacks. Nobody will care (or notice, probably-lol). However, if you don’t want to go, then don’t go. And I don’t think you need to lie; just tell her that you’re sorry, you can’t make it to the party. No need to elaborate. (This is a lesson I am working hard to learn–it was my sponsor, in fact, who told me that “No” can be a complete sentence. ha!) My daughter got married recently and I don’t think badly of our friends who weren’t able to come. I doubt your friend will interpret your absence as a sign that you don’t care. I bet she’ll understand that life is complicated and not everybody can attend every event.

    That’s my 2 cents. 🙂

  4. Syd says:

    MC, I like what LuLu said. Be honest and just decline. Or if you want to go, wear some of your cute work clothes and go professional chic. The latter is from my wife. LOL.

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