I can’t help but wonder what is bringing on these dreams. Did the loss of that tooth knock something loose in my mind? So weird. I usually don’t remember my dreams, and when I do, I only remember snippets and wonder “what did that mean?”
Last night I moved on to the next husband. Now this husband was a dangerous guy. He stole a great deal of money from me. He hurt me physically and emotionally. He did horrible things to my family. And when the three years of marriage required for US citizenship was over, his relationship with me was done as well. I may mention him a bit, but I seldom really talk about him. You see, I am still afraid of him. I have often worried that he will find my blog and it will re-activate his vengeance upon me. And that wouldn’t scare me so much, but like truly abusive men, he has hurt my family and has threatened to kill them.
Last night in my dream, he somehow managed to weasel back into my life. He somehow sold my house. He took the proceeds and was moving along with a woman he was always involved with semi-secretly (he really had many semi-secret involvements with women, some of which I didn’t learn about until we divorced). I discovered that he had this woman set up in a house across the street. He ex-wife was also there. But in this dream, my sister and brothers came and confronted him and got my money back. They also chased him away, and I knew it was for good.
When I woke from the dream at 1:00 a.m., I was covered with sweat, and I had a joy and peace in my heart. I felt for the first time in the 20 years since we have been divorced that it is finally over. He can’t hurt me or my family anymore.
The reality is that he is now a 72 year old man, living in Asia most of the time. Sometimes he is in a western US city, but he has not darkened my door for 20 years.
It’s OK. I don’t need to be afraid of him anymore.
Thank you God.