My little world

IMG_5703I fear I am not interesting at all these days.  But, I also fear I am at my most fascinating when I am at the nadir of despair.  I am not there, thank you Lord Jesus!

In my little world, I am just trying my best to allow God to craft me into the person he wants me to be.  Not anything glamorous, just being nice when I feel like being nasty.  Putting a fake smile on my face if I need to… amazing, no one seems to notice it is as phony as a $3 bill.  Carrying a warm sandwich with me when I leave the house to give to any random person standing at the corner with a sign.  They all answer the same way.  “Thank you, God bless you.”  Really.  All of them.

These are small little gestures.  But small gestures are better than no gestures.

Today I get to have lunch with a bunch of people I like.  My boss is taking all of her “managers” out to lunch.  With a white elephant gift exchange.  It is hard for me to get this “white elephant” idea, but I have found it can be fun.  The only thing I could find to give is something that she (the boss) gave me years ago.  I don’t think she’ll mind.  I hope.  A little gingerbread man apron with matching oven mitt.  Honestly.  I wrapped it up last night.    If it were anyone other than her I would not do this, but I really think it will be OK with her.  I asked another of the group yesterday what he thought, and he thought it would be fine… he even said it is what white elephant exchanges are all about.  OK.  I don’t really “get” it.

It’s all OK.  All good.  Wearing the world like a loose garment.


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5 Responses to My little world

  1. Chenai says:

    Wow, taking sandwiches for people on the street Mary, that is so sweet. You’re such a good person.

  2. Syd says:

    Nice, Mary, about the sandwiches. Just those acts of kindness mean so much to those who have so little. You too are the real deal.

  3. sue tegland says:

    The lizard part of our brains (amygdala) bring focus on the negative if we give it but just a little fuel. Making us Velcro for negative thoughts and Teflon for positive thoughts. I try to keep this in mind when my brain ‘goes there’. What I like reading about in your blogs is the way you deal with these to-and-fro’s so honestly.

  4. Kelly says:

    It’s the little things that make a difference. In the small instances, we choose how to act. All those small instances add up to compile our lives. I think you’re doing a nice job. 🙂 I’ve never done a white elephant gift thing before, so I don’t really understand the ‘why’ behind them. Oh well!

  5. atomic momma says:

    I can’t stand the White Elephant game and refuse to participate in them anymore. When I can I try to get everyone to drop it and take the money to donate to a charity because it is the biggest waste of time and money.

    I am reminded of the beauty of the small gesture every time I help my father who has late stage Parkinson’s disease. I try to do even the smallest things with grace and dignity and an open heart and not get impatient or selfish or resentful. The older I get I think the small gestures are what move mountains not the people in power.

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