As I write I am enjoying a plate of fried mush, oozing with butter, for breakfast. A very cheap breakfast! And delicious! And if not for the butter, it might be considered healthy. Of course the corn meal is organic and whole grain, so that might help. But it still seems like an indulgence.
I keep thinking back to what my favorite boss of all time wrote on my performance evaluation a few years back. “Mary gets thwarted by people.” That’s a fact. I’m nearly 62 years old and just realizing (what?) that I bring these problems to the workplace, because there is always someone. I do get annoyed and irritated by people in the workplace and CAN let this ruin my view of the workplace. I have a high intolerance for deceit and deviousness and have found that it is encouraged where I am. This is different. That’s OK. I. do. not. have. to. participate. I WILL NOT participate. If push came to shove, I could retire today. I would have to go out and immediately get another job – where I would find new people to be irritated by – but I could retire.
My plan is to last until the month of my 65th birthday. Three short years (and five days). The truth for now is, there are people who irritate me. BUT, I have an office with a door that locks. I can seclude myself. I am the only expert on several topics at the hospital. That is a position of strength, although I am clear as a bell that no one is indispensable. I am in a place where I can be myself. Weirdness and all. I could decide to go all weird old lady and that would be OK. I realize I have my own brand of weirdness, I don’t need to affect any.
Sorry, I am rambling this morning. These are my thoughts as I enter into this work week. It is good. And in the middle of the week? Thanksgiving! YAY!