Authenticity, maybe

IMG_7073Yesterday I stopped into my favorite running store.  The owner greeted me and commented that they hadn’t seen me for a while.  I told him I had to give up running, or even walking.  I told him I had walked 1.5 miles the day before and could hardly walk by that evening.  I was there for tape for my foot.

He looked me straight in the eye and said “you better get that checked out.”  I told him I thought I had just reached an age where I couldn’t do this stuff anymore.  He said “hell, no.  Get it checked out.  You are not too old.  And you LOVED running.”  Well, I started crying.  Awesome.  I told him my running shoes were now over a year old, he said “That might be part of the problem.”  Well, yes, I did know that but I couldn’t see where I was going to find the money in my budget for an expensive pair of running shoes.  I asked what was on sale, and managed to buy a pair of Newton trail shoes for half price.

IMG_7074I also got some KT tape for my plantar fasciitis.  And then I hit the trail.  Intending to do 2 miles, no more, no less.  Slowly.

IMG_7072I prayed as I do when I get on the mountain and away from the concrete and asphalt.  With tears of gratitude.  Thanking God for the beauty of his creation and for being able to be out in it.  This is who I am, and this is where I belong.  I cannot give it up so easily.  I will stick to trails because they are hard on the body in many ways, but better for your feet.  I am doing yoga for my back.  I may go see a sports physical therapist.  I have got to get rehabbed so that I can at least walk distances.  Maybe running again?  maybe?

I am glad for that time on the mountain.  Today I have to deal with an employee who is increasingly a problem.  Today I meet with her and start documenting her performance and attitude issues.  I can assure you, this will not go well.  Meetings that are not inherently contentious go badly with her.  In the last meeting we had, I found myself doing that heavy sigh thing.  I was absolutely exasperated.  I cannot do that today.

It’s two years now since my life went totally upside down with the job change.  By mid-November 2011, I knew I was leaving, and already starting to wrap up my old job – by working long into the nights and working weekends.  I am now into my second new job in 2 years.  I love this job, love, love, love.  But it is a challenge every single day.  It would have been anyway, but my predecessor retired on the job many years ago.  Most things that were done in that office are stamped with dates in 2003 or 2004.  I have to start from scratch with just about everything I touch.  Rewriting every single policy and procedure.  Totally rehauling the chart.  Getting ready for ICD-10 and DSM-V.  And dealing with employees who have been running the department with no interference from management for years and don’t know what the word “supervision” means.  It is good.  I will surely be ready to retire in 3 years and one month.

I am beside myself worrying about my friend in Legazpi.  The website for the organization says they were all in shelters.  But how would they account for 700 people in the midst of that chaos?  I am scared for her.  And praying for her.  Her name is Remedios.  Could you say a prayer too?

Thank you and God bless you.

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13 Responses to Authenticity, maybe

  1. jed1952 says:

    MC<
    Good Morning. I have good news for you, I think. Twenty years ago, give or take, my hubby had your foot problem. He thought his running days were over. We could not have been more wrong. His pain in his feet was diagnosed the same as yours with a prognosis of "surgery" to remedy the situation. Being a conservative man about procedures and pain, which is a nice way of saying "weenie", he had declared that he would tough it out for a time. The pain continued and to the point where he declared that he would seek a witch doctor if the pain could be tamed. One sunny day we were out driving along and saw a sign that was simple: "Foot and Back Pain." Willing to look at options, we pulled in, parked and hobbled in. The nice young man performed a balance test on hubby and then put some plastic foot shaped items on the floor. During the first test, hubby wobbled; during the second test, he did not. Well, we imagined that this was a scam. However, we bought the plastic things anyway, paying around $250. Overnight, literally, hubby's pain was gone and he was running again and has been since. When the first pair wore out, he got another for free. This was after ten years of use. So get yourself to the Good Feet store! They may have the plastic ticket for you to run again. I think they cost about the same. And I do think the warranty is still quite broad. However, as hubby said, cutting on my feet and full blown surgery did not carry any guarantees, but these little plastic orthotics did. Give it a try, they have good policies on return and refund if they don't work as I recall.

    Best wishes,

    Jeanne

    • Nice to hear from you Jeanne!!!

      Good Feet also have Mr. Eddie McCaffery on their commercials, so they HAVE to be good. Another friend told me the same thing about Good Feet years ago. This is a chronic problem. I had an MRI a few years ago that showed a resolved stress fracture. But the current pain is definitely plantar fasciitis. I will start saving for my trip to Good Feet. Thanks!

  2. Syd says:

    Sounds as if you have some trying times coming today. Hope that all goes well. As far as running, I have no idea other than I know that when I hurt, there is a reason. And my feet are shot for running. I recently lost a toe nail from walking six miles. Things aren’t what they used to be regarding intense activity.

  3. Annette says:

    Awwww Mary, I’m so glad your back! I’m glad you popped into your running store and he encouraged you to look further into your running troubles. I hope you do that. Sometimes understanding WHY something is happening helps us to figure out the Solution. How did the 2 miles go?
    It sounds like you are in a good place. ❤

  4. Helen says:

    woo hoo Mary’s back!

  5. Connie says:

    You never give up. I have the opposite problem. I am the employee with the supervisor who is always right and critics her employees for having a messy desk or not making eye contact, etc. Thank you.

  6. Tami M says:

    Yeah! I’ve been checking in just in case. So I will comment more just to be one among. You’re postings regarding depression helped me identify my own. Depression did not look like what I assumed. Turns out low level depression, untreated, can create almost as much unmangaeability as drinking. Almost. Thank you Mary for being all about me me me and I I I. This is helping me and I. Praying for your friend.

    • I don’t know if I will ever dig out of the damage I did during that horrible year of depression. I have had to get on the phone with creditors, just like the big book says, and tell them the truth. I had a debilitating case of depression and am trying to repair the damage caused by it. Some of them have been so nice, and some of them not so much.

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