In an orientation I give at work, I tell new employees Never Refer to Patients on Social Media. Ever! I have each word capitalized on my powerpoint, and I say it – just like that. With the “ever” attached at the end. It is a horrendous thing to do and causes a horrendous amount of trouble.
And on a personal ethical basis, I probably should not refer to a doctor on social media. But I am going to. I have written extensively about how I am “processing” the age thing. I am now watching someone else’s age play out and it is amazing.
He was young. He was a runner. He had long beautiful hair. He had sparkling blue eyes. He was tall. He rode his bicycle to work every day. I saw him running without a shirt once, and I don’t know if I ever got over it, I can still close my eyes and see that incredible body. He was a psychiatrist. He had a wit that was either hysterically funny, or could cut you to the quick. He was a dangerous man! Oh yeah, just my type. Luckily for me, he was enamored of young anorexic type women, so I was clearly not his type.
Nineteen years later: he looks old. He is extremely wrinkled. He has a pot belly. He wears flannel shirts. His long hair is grey and thinning. The grey pony tail is kind of a sad thing running down his back. He drives an old van to work every day. He talks too much. People avoid him, and say things behind his back. My staff call him “the clod-hopper” because he tends to track mud through our department. And he is one or two years younger than I am.
It hurts me to see this and hear this. Whenever someone mentions him in a negative way to me, I tell them how much I always “admired” him. They look at me as if I am talking about walking to Mars.
They say time is a thing of man’s creation. But it seems real when looking at the aging process. Some do it much better than others. I often wonder how much of it is truly physical and how much is a product of our behavior. I have chosen to think that my attitudes towards aging would greatly influence how I aged – but it is always easier to think we have control over something. I have thought that if I keep moving, my body won’t seize up and stop working. It sounds good, but I am not so sure it is true. I have been convinced that by working my mind it will stay in fairly good order. That’s probably not true either. I do know that keeping long out-dated hair styles and clothing do not help a person look vital.
I will continue to believe these things until they are proven in my own body and mind to be untrue.
I will continue every day to pray to God for acceptance of who and where I am today. His grace has pulled me through every other thing in life, I am quite certain it will continue to do so.