I woke early this morning thinking I would go swimming. I did my prayer and meditation and then sat at my computer. Before I knew it, an hour was gone. I just felt like sitting here without hurrying. I am done in by all the hurrying I have been doing. So here I sit, another day with no exercise.
My daughter’s boyfriend took her to a hot springs close to town last night. I hope a soak would do her some good. She has said she will go to the doctor today. It is heartbreaking to see my girl with a pale white pain face, while she walks slowly into the house. The only time she has ever been less than the little ray of sunshine everyone loves was when she was on meth and needed to sleep. She would come in and go immediately to the sofa and would be impossible to wake. It is frightening to consider what back injuries can do to people in recovery. I said to my daughter yesterday that “pain turns the whole world black, doesn’t it?” She heartily agreed. Bless her heart. I hope she will not be like me. I hurt my back when I was in my late thirties, and it has never been right since. I have learned how to be a person in pain. Chronic. Not acute. It hurts just to look at her in acute pain.
Of all the difficulty of getting older, I think watching my kids age might be the hardest.
This blog must go. There are little commercials on the bottom of each post. Some people get them, apparently some people don’t. Whenever I open the blog on my phone, I get an ad. Right now the ad is for a particular brand of house paint. They change each time I open the blog. (now it is for an android watch!)
I will go back to blogger. Maybe I’ll start an entirely different blog. Though I feel like I have said everything I have to say – twice or more times!