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Tomatoes of Sunday.  They are now all squished, processed, and sealed in jars.

Want to hear a secret?  I don’t want to work anymore.  I want to retire.  I am not financially able to retire.  But some days I think – I could sell my house, sell my car, sell most of what I own, and buy a little single-wide trailer in the mountains, and a little car of some sort with no payments on it.  At one time, that would have sounded like my worst nightmare, but it honestly sounds like an option at this point.

I don’t hate my job.  It is a very very good job for me right now.  I am working closely with someone who is in her 40s and very enthusiastically ambitious.  We were having fun until she got all snarly with me last week.  You know what?  I don’t “do” snarly.  I am too old for this shit.  She can go be snarly with herself.  She needs me and I don’t need her.  Sorry to be so blunt, but it is just the truth.  She has a job that she needs mentorship with, I am the only person who can provide that.  I will be happy to do so if she can be civil, but when she is being nasty and blaming it on being “SO busy,” I can do something else, because I am busy too.  Gratefully.

The last job took all the ambition and pride out of me.  I just want to do my job and get a paycheck now.  I will do my very best on a daily basis because that is who I am.  But I am no longer obsessed with how I am going to get to the top of the organization, because that isn’t going to happen, and I no longer want it to.  I would like to be able to work for 3 more years + a couple of months, until I am 65.  I have one final project that I would like to complete well.  It will take three years.

I am also happy about having my department to supervise.  We set up our regular supervision meetings last week.  I think this is a strength of mine.  And I think I learned it from being a sponsor in AA… if you can believe that.

I learned how to talk in front of a group, including huge speaker meetings, in AA.  I learned how to get along with ridiculously difficult people in AA – there is never a shortage of them!  I learned to speak difficult truths in AA – because that is sometimes necessary to save a person’s life.  Probably most importantly, I learned that I have the ability to be an influence on people, and I get to choose whether it will be a good one or bad one.  I choose good – most of the time anyway!

So, on with another day.  With God’s grace, nothing is impossible (probably not even retirement)!

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2 Responses to

  1. Annette says:

    My retirement plan is to live in a yurt in the woods somewhere. My hubs thinks I’m joking and I think he’s secretly afraid because he knows I’m not. Affordable sustainable living that doesn’t require a six figure income sounds like freedom to me! We have a ways to go though… We still have a 12 year old who relies on us. Yeah, snippy people. Sometimes I am one too though and not that this is what you should do, but people who are kind back to me, when I least deserve it….that is the most sure way to shape my snotty ass up! It’s humbling and puts a spotlight on how awful I’m really being.

  2. Syd says:

    I wonder if the snarly comes from people in general being too anxious and stressed. I think that most take themselves way too seriously–often to the point of being arrogant. I hope that the fences can be mended. As for retirement, all I can say is that it is glorious. Just glorious.

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