Can you imagine what a house would look like / smell like if this dog had diarrhea in it all day long? I would try to describe it, but no words could ever capture the full impact. Spic and Span is my friend and who needs rugs anyway?
I knew the day would come when I would come down with another migraine. For the 18 months I was away from the hospital, I had not one migraine. This morning, after 30 days on the job, I woke up with a migraine. Oh my, I totally forgot how sick this is. I am trying to avoid taking imitrex, but I guess if I have to I have to. For now, I am drinking Gatorade (I have no idea why, but it sounded good) and trying to get up the strength to get in the bathtub and get ready for work.
Yesterday someone I confided in at work betrayed me. I can’t go into more detail than that. My boss called me at 5 p.m. and asked me how so-and-so had heard about this-and-that. I said “I told her.” She cautioned me to be cautious with so-and-so. And off I went, into that land I go to when someone tells me I have said too much or the wrong thing to the wrong person. I am quite certain it is a childhood thing. I react so very badly. Driving home, talking to myself, calling myself stupid, swearing to never talk to anyone again so long as I live, etc. In other words, nuts stuff. It always does that. It lasts about a day or so.
I think it is from growing up in a home full of secrets. The worst thing you could do was talk about something “outside of the family.” Younger people will not even know what I am talking about because back in the day all the adults were on the same side. You could not go to a teacher, a counselor, a priest, a nun, a neighbor, without it going straight back to your parents. And vice versa. And boy, would you get in trouble for having a “big mouth.”
But honestly, today I am a grown up, I will go to work, I will get in my office. I will likely not turn on the lights. I may even close the door. I will stick close to the people who work in my department. I will make every effort to be supportive of them. I will turn my thoughts to others. And I will stop talking so damn much.
Hopefully when I get home from work today, there will be no dog here. My daughter voluntarily found somewhere else for him to stay as soon as she heard about the incident of yesterday, and before I said a word to her. I didn’t need to say a word to her, and I was able to keep my trap shut – thank God. She felt bad enough for 32 people, and I told her to stop crying because I refused to comfort her! She knows me well enough to understand what I was saying.
And perhaps I will go to bed when I get home. And get rid of this sick headache.
I sure say a lot for someone who is going to keep her mouth shut, don’t I?