Into another week

IMG_5127I’m bravely heading into another week.  Work should be interesting this week.  I really need to not blog about it.  In my other job, the risk was that my boss would find my blog, and I knew the odds were slim.  In this job, I have a whole host of people I am dealing with, some of whom are pretty ‘net savvy and anyone could find my blog in about 10 minutes if they really wanted to. As the HIPPPPAAAAA comppliance offfffficer (sorry for the deliberate misspelling), I am warning people about “social media,” and yet here I am every day.  Not talking about pts., but talking about work.  Enough!

I attended a meeting yesterday where a friend was celebrating 30 years of sobriety.  Her two (non-alcoholic) daughters came to the meeting and between them, talked for a good half hour.  They all three talked about how much they hate white people.  Not hated, no, hate.  Present tense.  It took me a while to become uncomfortable, but it happened.

Although I generally discourage people from having high expectations in proportion to a person’s length of sobriety, I was profoundly discouraged that someone who has been in this program for 30 years would so be blatantly disrespectful of the other people in the room.  Maybe after a while someone would think they have a “right” to do whatever they want to?

I didn’t bother thinking “what if that was my first meeting?” because my first meetings were bat-sh** crazy.  If we want to get sober, we will.  No matter what kind of lunacy we are subjected to in meetings or with other people.  Let no one blame anyone for their own relapse.  Truly.

At the end of the meeting, she insisted we all keep our hands held after the Lord’s Prayer and she chanted some kind of native american prayer.

I wonder what would happen if I tried the same thing and sang the “Ave Maria.”  Actually I don’t wonder at all.  It would not be tolerated – and rightly so.

There are traditions that have held us together for over 70 years.  I guess we can start to think we are too “special” for any of that nonsense.  God help us if and when we do.

I’m still sober today, and plan to stay sober for the rest of my life, one day at a time.  Should I sing the Ave Maria after my 30th birthday meeting next year?  Just kidding.

 

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10 Responses to Into another week

  1. Chenai says:

    That was some experience you had at your meeting. I can kind of see both perspectives – your being uncomfortable, but also what may have driven these women to do that. I have often wished I could find an all black AA meeting or an all women’s AA meeting in my area, just to be able to express certain feelings that only people with a similar background would understand. But there are none. It may have been that being in a meeting, these women felt like they were in a safe space to express some strong emotions, however tactless their approach was. While their feelings possibly alienated the majority of the people who were there (assuming they were white), they must feel alienated a lot of the time too, and maybe felt justified because of that. Just my guess. Thanks for sharing, I hope you are having a nice day at work.

  2. Annette says:

    LOL oh do it!

    Some of our meetings end in The Lords Prayer (which I love) and people have stopped coming to that particular meeting.

    Racism is hard to swallow. Very ugly. That’s too bad about your friend.

    • Most of the meetings here end in the Lord’s Prayer. But I can see that it will soon be gone and replaced by the serenity prayer. I think we are in trouble when we kick God out of our fellowship.

  3. Kelly says:

    I can see why you would be uncomfortable!

    Even if you don’t blog about your job, I’m sure you’ll still have plenty to share about the rest of your life that we will eagerly read.

    • I am not sure I should be doing this at all anymore.

      • Kelly says:

        I feel that way about writing on my blog, too, sometimes. (I also have a lack of motivation due to my mood.) So, I get it. It’s a personal choice to write every day and it is just as personal of a choice to decide not to. I just meant to say that I enjoy reading you, and I would like to continue to do so, but if you decide otherwise that would be fine, too.

      • Kelly says:

        I also wanted to say that you share a lot of yourself here and some of the things you share help me see things differently or think about thinks that I’ve overlooked. You’re definitely a positive part of the community!

  4. Syd says:

    I don’t think hatred has much of a place in a 12 step program, especially when I keep the traditions in mind. But I we also say in closing, “We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way – the same way we already love you.” I remember sitting next to a lady who would keep saying, “That’s BS. I don’t love these people or like them.” LOL–she has changed quite a bit over the years. And now actually does seem to like people.

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