At orientation, I was handed policies to review. I thought, well, I think I am familiar, I wrote these things! That said, I have a lot to learn.
I had lunch with my daughter yesterday! The one who works in the building. We can again have lunch. Today there will be a going away lunch for the person whose job I am taking.
The fly in the ointment? (you knew there had to be at least one, right?) The hours. I wasn’t aware that starting time was 7:30. I thought it was a bit of a hardship that it was 8:00. But it is a half hour earlier than that! I woke up this morning to the alarm and thought (because I am definitely an alcoholic) – I have to do this for the rest of my working life? Yep. One day at a time.
My predecessor yesterday said “oh, come on Mary. You are a short-timer.” She’s really right. I could be out of there in December if I wanted. But I think it is highly unlikely that I will want to.
When I left there yesterday, I walked through that parking lot (which is FREE!!!!!!!), and thought “I belong here. I know this place like the back of my hand. I am a department director here. I feel good about what I do.” This is so much different than than my thoughts on my old job: “I am a 61 year old new person here, I am unfamiliar with this place. I take bits of data out of one excel spreadsheet, put it into another spreadsheet, make a graph and put it into a powerpoint presentation. And I know the data are manipulated to look good.”
It’s good. Phew. Phew. Phew.
Is it really possible to reject conscience? Yes, of course. The baby is crying. Should I get up to feed him? Yes. Will I get up to feed him? I might not. If not, then I have rejected conscience.
But there is a more radical way of rejecting conscience. It involves not seeing your actions through the lens of right and wrong at all. — Father John Dominic Corbett, O.P.