I began work on this hat yesterday. It is not done yet, as you can see the circular needle is at top. I don’t like making it and I don’t really like the hat. I thought it was going to be way cute with the little knit dreadlocks. But I don’t think it is that cute. The yarn cost $20., so if I were to sell it, it would have to cost more than $20., and I think that is a crazy price for a crazy baby hat. Darn it. I am also working on a beautiful baby blanket – which was once intended for my boss’ baby shower. I got over that idea last week.
I am not really bored, but I feel unsettled. I don’t have an office to go to. I am technically still on the job at horrorville, I will be officially at the hospital on Monday. For now, I don’t really work anywhere. It is an odd feeling.
It seemed a staycation would be a good idea to take a week to chill and shift gears after a terrible experience. But I am not good at being at home for protracted periods, and I don’t have any money to do anything exciting. Last night, my sister called me from her vacation home, where I could have been this week, and I had a pang of regret. The beach would have been good. But there is so much to get done here.
The budget, the envelopes, the wise shopping for groceries all take time. I went to a Verizon store yesterday to chat about why my phone bill is so high. By the time I left, I had a far better plan, for $40. a month less. Getting organized and smart takes time and effort. I am sure it will be worth it, but I don’t really know because frankly I have never done it before!
Enough out of me! I sound ungrateful, I’m not really. Just a bit unsettled.
This was in one of my readings this morning:
After all the worry and anger, there is that moment when Jesus stands before the tomb. With tears streaming down his face, Jesus commands, “Lazarus, come out.” And he does. The image of Lazarus, soon to be loosed of his burial shroud, offers us the meaning of the story. Jesus calls each of us by name. He desires that we come out of the darkness of anger, despair, and sin. He desires the feelings of shame and fear be torn from us like a burial shroud. Lazarus, whose name means “God is my help,” is a symbol of all Jesus wants to do for us today. — Monsignor Gregory E.S. Malovetz