I made it out of that office yesterday. With only smiles, hugs, good wishes, and vows to get together “real soon.” I was still pretty wrapped around the axle yesterday morning, but God has a way of intervening, I think.
My successor’s computer showed up and the IT guy wanted to install it. I had the brilliant awakening to the fact that my computer was in the way. I quickly offered to take it out to my car, along with most of the other belongings I still had there (a couple pairs of shoes, a vase, etc). That happened at 9 a.m., and it made it so clear to me that I am out of there. She got her work done and sent out, right on time. It is NONE of MY BUSINESS. Never have those words sounded so good. She asked if I wanted her to copy me on the e-mails, and I said “no, I don’t need them.”
I woke this morning with a raging headache, but a deep peace knowing that that experience is behind me. I will probably not stop thinking about it or talking about it right away. I will try though to focus on the wonderful things in my life.
I am on vacation. A staycation. My house feels peaceful – well, if any house can be peaceful with a 300 lb. bulldog in it. I don’t know how much the dog weighs, but it is a lot. We took him on a walk this morning which was very nice.
Just the regular life of a regular old suburban woman in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Happy, Happy, Happy.
I am so busy with the Dave Ramsey materials. I have read all but two chapters of the book included in the kit. I think there is hope for me. And I am mulling over and praying about an idea I may have for making some extra money. It just occurred to me this afternoon, so it is not fleshed out, but I am so excited. I thought one possibility was being a sample person at Costco, and wasn’t thrilled with the idea. Dave’s book suggests doing something you love. Wow.
Thank you to everyone who has been here over the last long while that I was so unhappy. And when I was so depressed. I really appreciate those of you who have commented or e-mailed. It is hard not to feel like the only person in the world when you are in the midst of that kind of protracted crisis, but your words helped me immeasurably. Thank you. I really believe comments on a blog are what it is all about. They are like a tiny little gift someone can give. We are sharing. Not just narrating.
Anyway, thank you. I am sure I will have challenges ahead in my life, but somehow I think a really really ugly chapter is over. Truly over. And I can feel good about working a program, or practicing principles, or being a Christian, or being a humble recipient of the Grace of God (my personal favorite), or whatever you want to call it – whatever it was that got me to not respond in kind. It took every thing I had – and then some. But I can feel good about it now.