Usually I can think of songs about any flower in my garden. For lilacs, the only thing that comes to mind is the poem by Walt Whitman about Abraham Lincoln’s death, When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d. I’ll admit, sometimes I will be overcome with the fragrance of these lilacs, remember the poem, and can feel how sad the fragrance would be when combined with a terrible loss.
Yesterday, I asked my daughter the huge favor of driving me to work. It was raining buckets and I couldn’t imagine standing outside for even a minute without being soaked to the skin. So off we went. It was lovely. We sang songs together and did little shoulder dances. When I left work to go home, it occurred to me for the first time that my car was not waiting for me at the Park n Ride. I desperately sought a ride home from the PnR. My son picked me up. On the way home, my daughter called to tell me her keys were locked in the car and could I please bring the spare to her. Sure, I said, as soon as I get home.
When I got home, I realized with dismay that I had no way to get into the house. My garage door opener and house key were in my car, which was locked in the garage. The only other key? In my daughter’s car, locked. I asked my son if he would please break into my bedroom window, which I knew was unlocked. Thankfully my neighbor was home and had borrowed my extension ladder. My son climbed the ladder to the second floor, popped the screen, and opened the window. It took all of 30 seconds to a minute. I was so grateful, but it gave me a chill to think of what a bad-intended person could do so easily!
I then drove to my daughter’s workplace and gave her the spare key to her car. God is so good, what a blessing while at her store to run into a man I know from AA. His son was with him, I haven’t seen his son since he was a boy, and now he is a man. We stood and talked and laughed, it was like a party. I needed that so desperately because I was feeling like such a fool!
The feelings I had were so alien and frightening to me. Suddenly I had no place to go. I had no ability to change my clothes, or use my very own toilet. I was dependent upon the kindness of others. I didn’t have my own car at my disposal. It was only a matter of an hour or so, but it shook me to my core. I hadn’t realized how insulated I am by my lifestyle. Another rude awakening – but probably very very good to know.
On the way home from my daughter’s store, I stopped at Home Depot and had four keys made, one for the two kids who don’t have keys, one for my purse, and one to hide in my yard. I was so pleased with myself! Until I got home and found that only one of them actually worked.
Pammie – while I was at Home Depot, I checked out the Deck Over… they DO have it in stock. I picked up a booklet of samples of the colors available. They look pretty awesome and I hope to be able to paint my deck soon!
Now onto work. I will gratefully drive my very own automobile to the park and ride and then ride the bus downtown. Work all day and then reverse the process on the way home.
When I was still working in patient safety, the latest safety idea was being mindful. We were always taught to form good habits, and that is fine. But it is not a safety strategy. When everything is done by habit, mindlessly, you really don’t remember what you’ve done or consider what consequences one tiny change in routine can cause. Yesterday the consequences of one little ride to work, out of my routine, cascaded all over me.
Today I will be more mindful.