Over the weekend I purchased my flowers for the summer. Instead of the planters I usually fill and place on my front porch and back deck, I purchased two plants! and placed them into pots. That’s it. $50. including the pot in this photo, which is actually a lot prettier than it looks here. In past years I have spent literally hundreds of dollars a year on flowers. Can’t do that anymore.
A wonderful opportunity came into my life over the weekend. The wonderful Russian icconogrephers (deliberate misspelling) are coming to town in June. I longed to go, but could absolutely not afford the really expensive class. On Friday evening, I got a card in the mail from my sister. When I opened it, a check fell out. I thought “how nice!” When I saw the amount of the check, I screamed. Her note said “take that class!” That was so unexpected! She often sends cards, but not money, and especially not this much money! My first inclination was to use the money for something else, but I realized that I should take a hint and go to this class.
I also told my (responsible) daughter – I can’t go because that’s my busy week at work. She said “Are you f—-g kidding me?” I thought about how ridiculous that is! I am leaving that damn job! This is an unprecedented opportunity and I am not going to do it because I wouldn’t want to inconvenience one of those people? Yes, thank you daughter for putting that into perspective for me.
I talked to my boss about it and she insists that I work nights and the weekend before the class so that I can meet my monthly deadline three days early. God forbid someone should help me. So, that will only make it that much sweeter to waltz out of there at the end of June.
Last night I met with my psychologist who has known me for years. As the hour came to a close, he looked at me and said he was so glad to see that I was back. Mary Christine. The real me. Not the shell of me who has inhabited my life, or what was left of it, for the last 16 months. He told me it had been painful to watch me over the last few months – and then quickly added that it must have been so much more painful to be living it. Yes, it was. God bless him. After his extended leave for surgery over the winter, he met with me in March. It was so sad to see that he was trying to hide his tears at seeing me the way I was. Thank God he cares that much.
This morning I listened to the birds singing while I meditated. The window was open and I felt the breeze on my arms. If you have been chaste as long as I have, you can feel the breeze as an embrace from God. I hope that doesn’t sound sexual, because it certainly isn’t. It is divine.