Sunday

IMG_6093In case you need a tulip report:  they have bloomed now.  But they have been through so much and it is so late in the season, they seem to pop open and immediately die.  I have a bunch of orange and red tulips in the back that just bloomed this morning and look like they have been in bloom for a week and ready to be dead-headed.  That’s OK.  There are worse things.

My daughter came back on Friday night.  I am glad for the company, but it is full of drama and wears me out.  We went to a meeting this morning and that was good.

Yesterday I got a full knowledge of what taking the entire winter and most of spring off of training will do for you.  I have been increasing my mileage week by week, but 8 miles yesterday just about killed me.  I feel like my hair and teeth even hurt (an old line from my hungover days).  Everything hurts.  Every time I move I moan.  I hope to get better by tomorrow.

A weird phenomena, which I have experienced before.  Since Wednesday, when I got the wonderful news that I am going back to the hospital, I have been exhausted.  I think it is my body and soul together proclaiming – you can relax sister.  It is almost over.

I had my performance eval meeting on Friday.  I told my boss there was no point since it was academic at this time.  I told her it was devastating to me, but it shouldn’t have surprised me since she told us it was “meaningless” at the beginning of the performance cycle.  I told her I should not have been shocked since she also told us at that time that she didn’t give high ratings.  But it did shock and devastate me.  THANK GOD I could give notice the day after I got it by e-mail.   Anyway, she begged me to tell her why I was devastated, so I did.  For an hour.  In the end, I told her this was just a really bad job fit for me, but it was over.  THANK GOD.

I am currently reading “The Song of Bernadette.”  I didn’t even know there was a book – I saw the movie years ago, but I heard about the book from my friend Mary LA and wanted to read it immediately.  This book is phenomenal, I can’t seem to put it down.  Which is perfect on days when I am tired enough to lay in bed and read.  The thing that strikes me is that this child (Bernadette) was of very low social order – the family was literally starving – and she was of low intelligence.  Which helped people to believe that she was telling the truth since she wasn’t quick enough to make up such a story.   Again, a lesson in humility and God’s will… at least that is what I am taking from it at this time.

Grateful to be able to lay on my nice bed with the windows open and a beautiful breeze.

I was not going to blog today, but I thought of your patience with me when all I could write about was my depression.  Today I am not in that place, but I will always remember, and forever thank the people who stuck with me – including bloggers.  Thank you.

xxxxoooo

 

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3 Responses to Sunday

  1. Syd says:

    Glad that you have had some finality with the job. It is good that chapter is closed (just about).

  2. Mary LA says:

    I’m not surprised at the exhaustion.

    And today is the Feast of Catherine of Siena! I’m glad you are enjoying that book on Bernadette.

  3. Pam says:

    And now I will read it too!!!
    So I can feel close to my Mary.

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