Thank you, thank you, thank you for the comments yesterday. I had absolutely no idea that people read this blog every day. And I cannot imagine why you would read the blog – of a depressed person in a dead-end job at 61 and unable to retire – and be inspired! But I am grateful. I am so glad some of you took the (perceived) risk to post a comment. It meant the world to me. Could I ask a favor and ask you to comment every now and then? I despair when I feel like I am writing to no one. Well, not really no one. Syd always reads and comments, and I appreciate him so much.
One of my friends from the running group became vegan last summer. At that time, I was inspired to try to be a vegetarian, heavy on the TRY, because I didn’t think I could do it. Well, I did it. I have had a couple of lapses, but not many. I do not miss meat AT ALL. EVER. The times I have eaten it have been when there has been nothing else to eat. This really isn’t a world for vegetarians.
On Saturday I told her I had purchased one of the books she had recommended. Eat and Run by Scott Jurek the famous vegan ultra-marathoner. It is a wonderful book and I think it is inspiring me to TRY eating only plant-based food. Last night as I was reading on the bus, I decided I could go to Whole Foods after I got off the bus and purchase the food to make his chili recipe. I used to make tofu chili, but this is so much better. Red beans, black beans, and kidney beans. Bulgur wheat, that gives it a substantial texture and taste. It is wonderful.
This morning I didn’t have my typical oatmeal with blueberries and cream. I had two slices of Ezekiel 4:9 bread, toasted, one with peanut butter, the other with coconut oil and honey. I am full! We shall see how this goes today.
I wish I could describe to you how different my view is today. I feel like myself again. I feel that life is a possibility today, not a horrendous endless burden. I have been able to talk with my sponsees openly about this, and have gotten past feeling guilty and horrible for my depression and resulting reluctance to speak to anyone. Thank God for those women!
I think I am just where I am supposed to be today. Not that I suddenly love my job and everything about it, but I am happy to be where I am. Not because it is ideal, but because I am obviously supposed to learn something. I think I am learning. When I learn it, I believe the possibility of moving on will open itself up to me. Until then I will embrace where I am. As I have heard all these years….
Bloom where you are planted.
Play the ball where it lays.
Play the cards you are dealt.
etc., etc.,…. you get the idea.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. — Philippians 4:4