How many times have I posted this same scene? Many years, many storms, and still the deck on the back of the house seems to illustrate just how deep the snow is, so I take photo after photo, year after year. It has snowed all night and snows still. The wind is very strong and is creating drifts.
I volunteered to do some cooking for people from out of state who are coming for the funeral. I cooked last night, I need to deliver it today. It is a short 8 mile drive, but in a foot of snow could be tricky. I think it will also be tricky to fly into DIA. I am glad I didn’t volunteer to drive people from the airport to the city where the funeral will be held. I almost did, but then thought about what a nervous wreck I am driving in the snow and felt that people already frazzled would be better served by some calm driving person.
I sent an e-mail earlier this week to my icon mentor. I wanted to let her know why I fell off the face of the earth a few months ago. I have taken the big book’s advice about being honest with people and asking for their help – even my creditors. She wrote back to me with the kindest, most understanding e-mail. And I hope this will give me the momentum to get back to my icons. I intend to sit down this evening to work for at least an hour on my Theotokos who has been patiently waiting for me to get well. She has never accused me.
The depression was so bad that I stopped almost everything. Most disastrously, I stopped paying my bills – with the exception of mortgage and car payment. I stopped cleaning my house – I made my bed every day and did the dishes, but the house is full of dust and needs a good cleaning. I stopped running except sporadically. I went from an average of 60 to 80 miles a month to 22.2 miles in February, and approximately 20 miles so far in March. I stopped opening my mail. There is a mountain of it in my spare bedroom, slowly I am opening the envelopes and dealing with whatever is inside.
This morning I stripped the bed as soon as I woke and am in the process of washing it in hot water and bleach. I have cooking to do, and driving to do. It will be a good day, of this I am sure.
For Lent, I gave up buying clothing which I have actually managed to do!
I have also prayed the Rosary every day (or at least most days). During Lent, we meditate every day on the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary. This has been profoundly helpful to me. I have realized how full of pride I am and how that contributes to my unhappiness. I have endeavored this Lent to bring a Servant’s Heart to all of my activities. Amazing how that changes everything.
I have some servant’s work to do now and I couldn’t be happier.
If any one would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all. — Mark 9:35