This morning I woke and thought, I can bake bread today! If I start by 6, I should have a nice loaf to take to my son’s family when I visit this morning. I may be pushing right up against it, but I can carry a hot loaf of bread over there. I don’t think I have baked a loaf of bread for literally years. Because I eat it. But I am in the process of cooking and baking for a co-worker who is expecting a child any minute. She loves my cooking. I have gotten into a bit of a habit of making extra to freeze for her. I was going to freeze the bread, but decided to take it to my fam instead.
When it is your daughter-in-law, you need to be a bit more careful. Let me first say I absolutely love my daughter-in-law. But I noticed about a year ago that she says things like “Is there anything you don’t do?” That is always a bad sign. So I have backed off with them. I made them food for when she came home from the hospital, which was appropriate. But at holidays now I ask her to make a desert we all love. I defer to her. I have seen too many women get too pushy with their kids’ spouses and end up with a strained relationship with the whole family. I have nothing to prove. I just want to be grandma. That’s it. But a loaf of bread surely can’t hurt, right?
This morning I watched music videos on VH1. I found myself dancing in the kitchen to the bouncy pop music with flour on my hands and on the front of my apron. Normally I don’t listen to pop music. When I am depressed I can’t stand to listen to anything other than classical music or chants. I watch endless news coverage on TV and listen to NPR in the car.
Maybe I am crawling out of the hole. Or maybe I just have a few days away from the pressure and deadlines. Hmmm, what do you think? I will love these four days and not think ahead to what is ahead – except for spring.
You must not bear hatred for your brother in your heart. You must openly tell him, your neighbor, of his offense; this way you will not take a sin upon yourself. You must not exact vengeance, nor must you bear a grudge against the children of your people. You must love your neighbor as yourself, I am the Lord. — Leviticus 19:17-18