It has taken me all day to get around to writing this. Mass this morning, grocery shopping, filling up the gas tank (for less than $40!!!), coming home and doing a few loads of wash, running the dishwasher, emptying it. Running 6 miles on the treadmill. Cooking lunch, making green drink. These are the things that take up an entire day, when I was hoping to lounge around.
I got out my list from last year. I did not accomplish all that I wanted, but I did most of it. I feel happy about it. The year was one of my more difficult years, but I did accomplish many of the things I wanted to. I have made a list for 2013. They are gentler things. I want to spend more time with the people I love. I want to see my grandchildren more often. I want to do more volunteer work, and give a greater percentage of my income to others. I want to make every effort to reestablish relationships with two women I was close to in my early sobriety. We have all agreed that it is stupid that we don’t see each other, talk on the phone, and e-mail regularly.
As I look at the year we’re now in, I remind myself that there are only 3 more months of real winter. The daylight time is lasting longer each day, even now.
Another reminder that this is now. It isn’t yesterday. It isn’t my childhood. As the room grows dark, memories, quite involuntary, come – of being dragged to all day drunken fests with my parents, smoke filled rooms that made my little eyes water and stupid drunken people – getting in my face with drunken breath. Wanting to go home more than life itself.
Today I am sitting in my own home, in front of my own little fireplace, with the ability to stay or go as I please. Thank you God.
The shepherds hurried away to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When the saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say. As for Mary, she treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart. — Luke 2:16