My daughter’s dog. Looking at me. Wow. There was a time, just a few short months ago, when just looking at this photo would have had my heart racing and hands sweating. But I got used to this big honkin’ dog. I just couldn’t get used to the fluids that came out of his mouth, I am still finding dried snotty spots on the walls. Gross. My daughter and her doggie left my home in November. I miss my daughter, but don’t miss the dog.
The daughter is doing something in her sobriety that I did in mine. Men. When she moved in, she was in love with a man who was in prison… she has a tendency to love men in prison, probably because you can control the whole tiny scope of the relationship when they are not around, and your fantasies of true love can flourish. When she starting working at a tattoo shop, she met a man, another tattoo artist, who she “fell in love” with. She promptly moved out of my house and into the home of the man. I think this is particularly dangerous behavior, and have told her so. But she is 33 years old. A grown up. An adult. Once I have voiced my thoughts to her, I need to let them go. I can love the beautiful woman she is without loving the behavior.
Her brother, on the other hand, is having a more difficult time at this. She wasn’t invited to his house for Thanksgiving because she wouldn’t come without this new guy. I don’t blame my son for that. We have had enough holidays with the strange people she brings around who tend to be socially awkward if not downright anti-social. She interprets this as us not accepting her as the person she is. I cannot convince her otherwise.
So now there is Christmas. My son and his wife and beautiful daughter are coming over to my house for Christmas Eve. I don’t want to go through this whole thing with the daughter again. I have been just sick about this.
Last night I think I figured out what to do. Son and family on Christmas Eve, daughter and man on Christmas Day. It’s a lot of work, but I think it might be worth it.
Thank you. And thank you all for your words of encouragement yesterday. You guys rock.
And he came to her and said, “Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you!” But she was greatly troubled at the saying and considered in her mind what sort of greeting this might be. — Luke 1:28-29