The Transient Nature of Blogging



Feeling sad this morning as I realize that most of my links are out of date.  This blog is only a few months old, and already most of the other blogs I have linked to have ceased to be, or remain with no updates.  It is probably something I shouldn’t admit, but I always feel a bit abandoned as people I have come to know, felt a kinship with, and thought we had a bit of a relationship through blogging just go away.

Then I ask myself why I do this.  What has kept me writing every day for over 7 years?  Am I just so starved for attention that I am willing to spill my guts every day just to get a comment or two?  Or am I a bit of a exhibitionist, putting it out there – here’s my life, my psychic “private parts!”  Do I crave some sort of phony intimacy with people I interact with only through a monitor and keyboard?

There are two people who still post every day (except for exceptions), and comment regularly.  These two (Dave in Texas and Mary in Africa), I feel that I do have relationships with.  Syd religiously comments, which I can’t tell you how much I appreciate, but now has started blogging less regularly.  I seldom comment on his blog because his is written from an alanon lens, and I frequently find myself a contrarian as an alcoholic.

I had a “successful” blog and walked away from it.  I couldn’t take the heat from it.  The nasty comments that were left anonymously in the middle of the night.  The comments from AA know-it-alls lecturing me on the errors of my ways.  Most of them brought out the worst in me… “Oh yeah?  Tell me about it when YOU are sober 28 years!”  Etc.  It wasn’t pretty.  It was worth leaving all the good stuff to get away from that.

The truth is, I like to sit in the morning with my coffee and read blogs.  I like to write every day.  I also really like comments, but I seem to have mostly silent readers.  I wonder why I don’t just get a nice leather bound journal and write on it every day with a pen and ink.  I know the reason for me is that I am craving the community of bloggers.

I’m not threatening to go away.  I’m just processing what sometimes confuses me.  And causes me to be late for the bus – in the snow – on a day when I really have to be there on time…  Thus I shall go!

O give thanks to the Lord, call on his name, make known his deeds among the peoples!  Sing to him, sing praises to him, tell of all his wonderful works?  Glory n his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!  — Psalm 105:1-3

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16 Responses to The Transient Nature of Blogging

  1. Annette says:

    How funny that you posted this. I just made my big “announcement” that I will be taking my blog down as of January 1. Maybe I will start a new one on some other topics….I don’t know what, but I do love to write. And I have made some wonderful friends through blogging. But I just feel like my blog has run it’s course. In the beginning I was desperate and now I’m not.
    I think the holidays have everyone running in circles Mary, thus less blogging and commenting. I love reading your blog, even though I don’t comment on every post. Your faith has inspired me to more deeply at my own. So for that I thank you. ❤

  2. Jackie says:

    Well Ms Mary, I have slacked off too. I read your blog daily but have found I am running so fast at work (which is where I chose to read any blogs, early in the day) that I stop long enough to read. A few times I wanted to say, ‘keep on’ but I knew that you knew that. Your precious and I wanted you to know that I, I truly love reading your psychic “private parts” if only to see that no matter what we are going through, you help me to see we can and do come out the other side. You touch on work life (which we all have), personal (love the kid/grandkids stories) I certainly relate. excercise (right there with ya sista’), mental health (depression check, check) yup if we exchanged bodies except for geographics we would look the same. I may be a ‘voyeur’ into your private life but it keeps mine on track. hmmm that sounded selfish. certainly did not mean for it too!

    I can’t say this enough; Mary I do read your blog and I am inspired by you!

  3. I’m one of the silent ones who reads your blog every day. (I followed you here from your old blog.) I look up to you as a sort of AA mentor and always gut check myself when I find myself disagreeing with something you’ve posted. (Exactly how willing are you, I ask myself! ;-)) I’d invite you to read my blog, but it is private and I’d have to have your email address to invite you. Keep blogging!

  4. Kelly says:

    Yours is one of the blogs I read every single day. I’m sorry I don’t comment more. A lot of the time it’s because I’m running around, sometimes, frankly it’s depression kind of blocking my words. Same reason I don’t post a lot anymore. I am just on a bumpy journey. 🙂 As you sometimes seem to be. But the good news is that we are both on it with Jesus. 🙂
    Sometimes I think things happen so we can hear HIm better in life.
    But I do love reading your blog! And you. ❤

  5. atomicmomma says:

    for those of us like me who don’t have a blog you and Syd’s blog are a life support for me so many days. I appreciate your commitment to your blog and the brutal honesty that both you and Syd pour out of your hearts.

    But I can’t help to think it can also be draining and there are times you need to step back and rest and refuel.

    Hugs, love and healing prayers.

  6. Susan Brown says:

    I’m one of the silent readers also. Your honesty and openness and sincere faith encourage and inspire me to be a better person myself. I tend to relate to the alanon blogs mostly, but yours strikes such a chord of truth with me that I feel like I know you personally. Sorry I don’t comment more. I’m 46 yrs old and feel as if I’ve made a mess of my life so far. I relate more to the alanon blogs, because I love an alcoholic and don’t see much hope of him changing, so I sit back and wish I had the courage to make the changes needed for my life to be different. When I read about your exercising, or learning new things at work, quitting smoking, eating healthy, etc. it reminds me that I, too, am capable of doing better for myself, and you inspire me to want to try. Keep blogging please!

  7. Micky says:

    hey Mary, I’m over in the UK reading your words glad that you write them AND post them. I often read them on the way to work because you say what you think even if its messy. And I value that

  8. lulu says:

    ooooh i hope you don’t stop blogging. I’m one of your silent readers, but I am a regular reader. I have a blog (in my real name) but had it up less than a year before I stopped posting. My excuse is that I work as a writer (grant writer and newsletter writer etc..) and in my spare time I’m writing a novel (yeah yeah who isn’t) and the blog started to feel like one more damn thing to get written. So, as the newness wore off, i posted less and less. I do plan to get back to it eventually…I think. I’m not catholic, I’m not even really religious (although I was raised in the Methodist church) but I followed you here from your AA blog. With 2 years sober, I appreciate your take on things with so many years of sobriety.

    Just wanted to say thanks.

  9. Syd says:

    MC, I read you every day. I do comment on your blog because I want you to know that I read it and care. And mostly, I don’t post much about Al-Anon but about my life in general with some of the practice of the principles thrown in. I guess that I, like Annette, am at a good place and don’t feel the pressure to have to post every day. And it actually got to be stressful to feel that I needed to write something every day. I was feeling as if it was a duty, and that didn’t feel good. So I post when I have something to write about. But I’m still here.

  10. Dave U says:

    Well, you know I read you every day, but don’t always have a comment.
    I’ll only speak from my point of view — I don’t know why I continue to do my blog. I guess it’s part obsessiveness, part routine, part of my daily step 10, part ego. I rarely get more than 1 or 2 comments any more, so I must have a number of silent readers. (I still get 120-150 hits every day).

    My reading has dwindled down to almost nothing except you (daily) and Syd (not daily).
    Things change, eh?

  11. kelly says:

    This is one reason I feel so guilty when I don’t write, because I feel like I am neglecting connections I have made out in the world. Not imaginary connections, but real connections with real people.

  12. Mary LA says:

    I do think blogging is hard to sustain Mary Christine and I know many people take a break from time to time. I miss reading their blogs but I understand why they need to focus elsewhere or blog less frequently.

    Sometimes I’m embarrassed I can’t write more openly about my life or more thoughtful posts, but I do blog nearly every day and it is like keeping a diary. I love reading comments but also get emails from people who are regular readers and I know many people read me so the comments are not representative of being read.

    The nature of blogging is changing perhaps as people use Facebook or Twitter or Pinterest to express themselves. I don’t know that the diary form works for everyone. And trolling is on the increase as is controversy about recovery groups and the nature of alcoholism. But there are many new bloggers posting on recovery — this January I must redo my blogroll and add more links. I hope some of those who have stopped blogging start again. I love reading both your and Dave’s blog although I have trouble leaving comments there, and as Scott once said, I value anyone who posts every day! And the friendships that develop from a community of bloggers are very real.

  13. Hopester says:

    Even though I don’t blog daily I often ask myself some of these same questions.

  14. I would like to thank everyone who took the time to comment. I sort of felt bad as I got the comments, so many people felt bad about not commenting. I totally understand “silent readers,” and I am happy to have so many lovely people reading.

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