Pride Cometh

This is the icon I am currently working on.  I am spending an hour a day working on it.  Between six and seven in the evening.  The photo shows the icon after the second highlight, the light color on the face, and the pink lines on the outer garment.  When I sat down to work on it last night, I thought “Wow!  Isn’t this something!  I really can do this myself!”  A half hour later, after applying the second float, I was in despair, wondering if I can even salvage this icon.  My icon mentor sends out e-mails several times a week entitled “Accepting Imperfection,” and I guess I must learn this.

Meanwhile, working on my resume.  Dreaming up fantabulous ways of describing how cool I am.  What a leader I am!  I hate this!  It is part of why I work for the state, I have never been asked for a resume before.  But then I have never applied for a job in senior management before.

Today I need to set foot into a building where the people are so angry they have been shouting with red angry faces.  I am the representative of all they hate.  This should be fun.   How I deal with them was something my boss praised in my interim job evaluation.  She called them “high demand – low reward.”  Despite all of my complaining, I think I am doing this as well as anyone else could – maybe better.  Because I have learned over the years to just let that stuff pass through me.  Little do they know how difficult it is.

These problems are small.  I have just been though a life-threatening depression.  My sister-in-law is dead, my brother is bravely living through almost unendurable grief.  I have friends who are ill.  There are bloggers who are facing serious illness.  Yes, my problems are small.

Like a deer that longs for springs of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.  — Psalm 41

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Depression, Fear, Work. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Pride Cometh

  1. Syd says:

    The icon looks good to me. You’ll have to explain sometime the significance of the icons in the church. I was raised in the Episcopal church but don’t remember anything about icons. It was so many years ago anyway.

    • Syd, the photo was from before I ruined it 😦
      I didn’t grow up with icons either. They are making a resurgence in the Catholic Church now as a lot of people are rejecting the “modernization” of the church that happened in the last half of the last century.

  2. Kelly says:

    You really struck me today in places where I live! lol. But first I must say that I think the icon is beautiful. I love her expression.
    I had to just stop writing my resume because I got so bogged down trying to describe myself. Blech!
    And I am always trying to remind myself that there are so many others with far bigger issues than myself, even if I find myself being overwhelmed regularly and tempted to give in to the lurking depression. With the help of our Lord and His Mother I am doing better with daily Mass and weekly adoration, and I am now noticing a difference. Thank God. +JMJ+
    I pray you’ll through your day with His blessings and come out feeling great. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s