This is my latest icon, Theotokos (God Bearer) as of this morning. I worked on it this weekend. Went to the workshop on Saturday with the wonderful iconographers. The teacher suggested we try a Silent Saturday, where we begin with prayer and work silently all day. I’m down for that! And then I realized that I cannot work silently, because I am always asking for help. I am always asking to borrow things from the others. So I asked the teacher what I might do to learn to work independently. She suggested I work for an hour each day at home. I thought I needed to buy an expensive book with all the steps, but my notes from the workshops attended as well as a wonderful website will guide the process. I spent an entire $5. at Michael’s to get the things I have been borrowing. I worked on all the things I needed, such as the bamboo needle holder thing. That was made of two sushi mats tied together, I made a lining of old quilting fabric, then knitted a cord with which to tie it.
Yesterday I volunteered to help my daughter pack up most of her belongings and put them in the garage. She is having her carpet stretched. My job was to pack up her 3,000,000 books. My son and family came over to move the furniture. We planned what we shall each cook for our Thanksgiving dinner. Then we planned which games we will play after dinner. I am so excited about this.
I stayed busy all weekend, which I usually try not to do. But I have been thinking lately about my life and the limited number of days. I have no idea how many, but at the end of them, will I be grateful for naps? Will I be grateful for spending ridiculous sums of time watching football games? I think not.
This morning there is gratitude for the weekend, and a small amount of dread about going to work, where my boss will be back from vacation. I have a massive meeting today at 9:30. I will have to push down the fear about that and just walk through it.
And yet I can find her if I too become hidden in God where she is hidden. To share her humility and hiddenness and poverty, her concealment and solitude is the best way to know her: but to know her thus is to find wisdom. — Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p. 168.