I went to my home group this morning to celebrate my birthday. It turns out my daughter had texted a lot of people and told them to be there – which is something I would NEVER do, and a lot of my old friends were there. A non-alcoholic friend of mine asked if she could come, and I said yes, as it is an open meeting. I was a bit worried about her there, but she called later and said it was a spiritual experience for her.
My daughter gave me my chip. There were only a few dry eyes in the house, and mine were two of them. If I started crying at that meeting, I would still be crying right now. She talked about how I never ever pushed her into the program and she was so grateful for that, because when SHE was ready, she knew where to go and didn’t have an attitude about it. She said she is proud to be “third generation” in the program. My dad never urged me to go either. Funny how it works better that way. She says she sometimes wishes I would intervene in her program, but realizes it is probably better this way. Yes, my dear, it is.
What a thrill to sit with so my daughter at a meeting – with so many people who know us both. Who knew me when I was her age and just shake their heads and laugh. One of them said he knew she was my daughter the first time he saw her at a meeting – without anyone telling him so.
There was no topic per se, but the overriding theme was – we were all so damaged when we got to the program, but we found each other. All a bunch of damaged, acting-out, sober drunks. You would think that would be a recipe for failure, but it wasn’t. We all knew we were screwed. We all knew we had to ask God for help. We all knew that we were not keeping ourselves sober, that God was. The gurus of that group are LONG gone. Only the regular old run-of-the-mill crazy vatos are left.
And no one observing today would call any of us crazy. Oh, a couple of us suffer from depression. But we do so in the sober comfort of the homes we own, and drive our own cars to our own therapists offices. We all go to meetings regularly and sponsor people. We all have the fellowship we so craved in the early days. Not one of us would say anything other than “Life is SO GOOD.” It may be difficult from time to time, but it is so good on the sober side, as my sponsor would say.
I am overcome by gratitude in this moment. What a life I have been given. I have been able to achieve most of my dreams. I have so many friends, which is what I always wanted so desperately. These are real friends. And today I have a real life. This is the real deal.
Thank you God, for another day.
For the chance to live in a decent way.
To feel again the joy of living,
And the happiness that comes from giving.
Help me to wake to the morning sun,
With the prayer: Thy Will Be Done.
For with your help I have found the way.
Thank you Father, for AA. — unknown author