Taking Care


Tonight there was a beautiful new rose in my garden – and lots of buds.  It is hard to believe these roses are blooming in such hot weather.  But I am glad.

Today I took the little note referenced yesterday and went to my boss’ boss.  I told him I didn’t want to make a federal case of it, but I thought he should know about this unprofessional and disrespectful behavior.  He agreed.  He said he will talk with her about it – without mentioning my name or the specific incident.  That’s good enough for me.

It’s like my friend Dave’s motto:  Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?   I do not want to give a year of my life and all my energy to filing a complaint about her.  Odds are, someone else will eventually do it.  I value my life too much for that.  I will document all further incidents just in case I need it.  But I hope not to.  And frankly, I hope to get out of this job just as soon as humanly possible.

This morning I slept in until 5 a.m.  When I got up, I took my time and went out for a run in  the cool summer morning.  I took the 8 o’clock bus instead of the 7 o’clock bus.  And felt like a human being instead of a slave when I got to work.  I told my boss that this will be my new schedule until it no longer works for me.  Tomorrow I am going to go swimming before work.

I am reclaiming my life.  I do not need to surrender to the lunacy I am surrounded by.  And I do not need to fight back.  I just need to acknowledge that it is nuts and try my level best to let it roll off of me.  There is not one reason in the world why I should be treated this way, so I will not buy into it.

I am going to #1 – take care of myself.  I am going to take the time to talk with friends.  I have a lunch date with an old friend from my old workplace on Friday.  On Tuesday, I am having lunch with my favorite psychiatrist in the land.  I am working at home on Thursday and Friday.  I will be away from that toxic place just as much as I can.

I have a sober birthday later this month.  Many people early in sobriety think that paradise should break out in our lives and that every day should be nirvana once we get sober and “work a program.”  Some of them even say that if they don’t have their “serenity” they might as well be drunk.  Well, they must not have drank the way I did.  Nothing in this world could make me think I might as well be drunk.

To me, the real mark of sobriety is getting through life without drinking.  No matter what happens.  No matter how depressed, how happy, how abused, how loved I feel.  In order to stay sober, I have to play by a different set of rules.  I cannot seek retaliation for bad treatment.  I cannot even spend much time thinking about it.  I need to let it go.  I did what I needed to do and now I move on.

I will take care of myself to the best of my ability.  I will reach out to my friends, program and not.  I will walk around my garden with a hose on a hot summer evening, looking for a rose.  And tonight, God has blessed me with one.

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of sonship.  — Romans 8:13-15

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24 Responses to Taking Care

  1. sherryd32148 says:

    You…are a rock star. Claim your life girl!

  2. Annette says:

    Love that scripture and I love this post! This can apply to all areas and relationships in our lives. Only we can reclaim our lives. Only we can decide how much we will give to any other entity, person, or organization. You are wise and strong Mary. And at least you know that we all were up in arms and justifiably outraged on your behalf. We got your back Mary! ;o)

  3. Syd says:

    Glad that you did mention it and then let it go. It’s out of your hands now. That is the best thing. Take care of you.

  4. Imogen says:

    I also love this post, you are a very wise woman and an absolute inspiration. I am so lucky to have somehow found you on the big world wide web and look forward to your daily posts.

  5. Jessie says:

    Yay God! I appreciate so much that scripture and your post. ((((hugs)))) that’s my cyber hug going out to you today.

  6. Pam says:

    I still want to meet her on a dark street….’cause I’m crazy like that. 🙂

  7. luluberoo says:

    Yes, self care is the answer…support, love from our friends and family too. Took me so long to “get” it.
    Great post!

  8. daisyanon says:

    Great plan Mary, congratulations on how you are dealing with this. I wish I had had the benefit of the programme and this sort of wisdom when I was dealing with a similar toxic workplace environment.

  9. Mary LA says:

    Good to hear action will be taken and that you have handed it over. All the same, I’d quietly document any further breaches of professionalism in case this escalates. Innocent as doves, wily as serpents etc

    • Oh Mary, I am documenting. I never heard of “Innocent as doves, wily as serpents,” but I like it.

      • Mary LA says:

        Matthew 10:16: ‘Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and innocent as doves.’

        I garbled it —

      • Mary, This very verse was the Gospel reading yesterday. I found two different versions – “shrewd as serpents and simple as doves” and another was “wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” I kind of like your version.

  10. atomicmomma says:

    I hope you continue to recover from the ugliness of your boss. That visual of her note you posted really took my breath away. It’s really sad to see a person like that so unbelievably broken – they do deserve our compassion but finding a way to do that without draining yourself and taking something away from you is a trick. Guess that is where prayer comes in.
    I’m really sorry you are dealing with someone so broken who happens to be in a position of power/authority in your workplace. When I am now in those situations I take a deep breath, pray and see it as something put in my path at this point in my life to learn from.

    Hope you doused her area with healing holy water. Those types of acts I have done in the past with the crazy meanies in my life – I always find when I start these acts they are just mind over matter and going through the motions as I do them – very physical act at first of trying to forgive them but then an amazing thing happens – my inner spirit caves and I find a place of inner peace.

    I had this experience years ago – I meditated one day and it came to me in my thoughts: who was the person in my life at the time I LEAST wanted to pray for, hug, do nice things for and I was going to meditate on them and think generous thoughts not angry ones. I found myself at one point sobbing for that person and I couldn’t believe it. I let go alot of anger in that one session.

    Hugs love and healing prayers.

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