Done in

This is a photograph of the note my boss left on my desk today.  I don’t even know how to respond to that.  Except that I have been crying on and off since 3:30 p.m.  In another place and time, I may have found it so insane that it is laughable.  But in this place and time full of rejection and hurt and lack of perspective, I can’t laugh.

I am absolutely done in.  I have had it.

By the grace of God, my phone has been ringing all night long.  I have talked to an old friend or two.  I have talked with an old co-worker (from a place where life had a bit of dignity).  I talked with my sponsor.  I talked with a sponsee.  I talked with my daughter.  Thank God for these people.  I am told I am loved.  I will choose to believe them.

And I will go to bed and pray that tomorrow I will be shown how best to live my day – in accordance with God’s will for me and that I be given the power to carry that out.

Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;  blessed be the name of the Lord.  — Job 1:21

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29 Responses to Done in

  1. kelly says:

    How….professional.

    Good for you, though. Listen to the ones that you spoke to tonight. They are right.

  2. Annette says:

    Mary, that is so unprofessional, I am speechless. Could it be that this demonstration of her maturity (lack of) is her problem and not yours? For God’s sake! People don’t treat one another like that in my little world. Its just not nice, its counter productive, not to mention unhealthy and just plain mean. No wonder you are upset…but really, can you take this as an indication of where she is at in her spirit? And you bear no responsibility in that!
    And just so you know, I wanted to start this comment by calling her a little bitch…..but I didn’t because I am trying to live my life in a healthy manner and not speak unkind things like that out into the atmosphere. But it was hard not to….I’m just sayin.

    • She is a brilliant woman who has sailed through school and her short career. I honestly think she considers this “being authentic.” It feels to me that I am working in a cesspool.

  3. Mary LA says:

    I hope that tomorrow goes better and I’m glad you have loving, respectful and affirming people in your life. Is there any way to address this abusive behaviour in your workplace?

  4. luluberoo says:

    Speechless! I agree with MaryLA…I would take this to the next level. I can’t imagine an adult doing that.

    Don’t let them get you down. You are a beautiful person.

  5. Pam says:

    Mary….what the hell is this?
    You know I will come kick some ass right?

  6. shadowlands says:

    Mary, that is awful. I will pray for her. That is not what I feel like doing or saying. I do not want to type those thoughts. My youngest son, when he sees me mad and out of control with stuff always reminds me about the program advice to pray for the really out of control people, places and things in my life.He also reminds me (and this is just for me), ‘beggars can’t be choosers mom’ as in my case choice is rarely an option these days, in regard to my reactions to difficult situations. Prayer is all I have left as a positive response/power. After prayer, wait…….then do the next right thing as you perceive it.

  7. Oh my goodness. I was just reading Acts about how people gathered to pray. Your friends, family all the phone calls reminded me of that. Gathering to pray. That is a fascinating dynamic of communication in the workplace, I can’t imagine the context or reasoning behind such a stark note. I had a boss who was suffering and very angry tending to lash out at the staff verbally. It was that workplace dynamic in which I decided to go into the office early for 2 weeks (of course it wasn’t me who thought of the action, I just did it) and prayed over the things in his office. Touching his chair, desk, computer, etc… I prayed for him and for God to help me to see better.

    I didn’t know what else to do. You just made me realize I haven’t tried that at my workplace now, I haven’t prayed in the office for each of the people who confuse me and whom I am so un-connected to.

    I’m grateful that you continue to share your journey, and grateful to be saying a prayer with you this morning, that God has your back front and flanks, and that you are His child and his instrument. ❤

    • Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I am bringing the Holy Water today! Her office is going to get a little sprinkling when she is away!

    • Annette says:

      I have to say that Jackie’s comment is so beautiful. It convicts me of my name calling ways. Of course this is a far more constructive and humble way to handle that “girl.” Jackie, just so you know….I needed this reminder! Thank you fro sharing a truth so clearly and so humbly. “But I say to you, be kind to your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. ” Matt. 6:44

  8. Jackie says:

    This is the most insane thing I have ever seen. Mary Christine, I have been reading daily and kept up with this new job. I am appalled (as is everyone else) at her lack of work ethic. I would not, could not keep quiet on this matter. What on God’s green earth brought this kind of dispicable behavior to the surface and why would she ever think this would be tolerated. In my opinion if she treats you this way this is probably the norm for her. Unbelievable. Please, dear one, let us know how this plays out. I think she should be fired. To me, this is a hostile work environment………. Blessed be your day for He and He alone shall judge. But I, in my human form would want to slap the crap out of her!

  9. KE says:

    Wow. Just wow. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. Frankly, that is cause for termination. As Jackie stated, this is now a hostile work environment. This would NOT fly at my company. Definitely unprofessional and absolutely uncalled for in any situation. Sending you good thoughts to get through this.

  10. kelly says:

    Mary-

    I’m sorry. I meant how *unprofessional*.

  11. Kary May says:

    What in the world is going on? I had to go back and read to make sure that I had read it right the first time and that this was your boss that wrote this. You do need to go above her head, the woman needs to be told this is not acceptable, to put it lightly. I’m not so sure there couldn’t be legal repercussions. Regardless of how she feels about you, a person that would use these tactics should not be in charge of anyone.

  12. Syd says:

    MC, I’m sorry to have been absent but have been busy with studying and life. I do think that there must be a recourse such as taking this to the HR person at your work. It is a hostile work environment. What brought on her hostility or is she simply not aware that such is not good in the workplace? Has she said anything to you to indicate a problem? I only received the anonymous notes twice and that occurred within the last year I was at work. I hope that you will take care of yourself and talk to her with a third party present.

  13. I considered going to HR, but I don’t want to lose a year of my life fighting this.

  14. atomicmomma says:

    Your Boss is psycho. There is nothing to analyze…. She’s a bona fide Psycho. I’ve hady fair share of psycho bosses and they all eventually have their behavior do them in.

    What’s awful is you need the paycheck and I have been there too.

    I am praying for peace for you

  15. I don’t understand this at all. Why would someone do something like this? Have I missed something? I’m so sorry.

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