Forty-one years ago today, in a hospital in Chicago, my mother died.  She was 57 years old.  I was 19.  I will remember today in my thoughts and in my prayers.

On Saturday, at the first run of the summer session, a man in my running club was hit by a car and killed.  I didn’t know him well, he was just a friendly face seen the starts and the aid stations and the social events.  He seemed to be a very nice man and some of my friends are deeply mourning.  What a shock, to be so healthy and vibrant one second, and the next second dead.  The news said he ran into an intersection against the light.  I can understand only too well how that happens.  Running, although people, including myself, claim it clears the mind, also befuddles it in weird ways.  After many miles, there is what I would call a form of psychosis where perceptions of time and space are greatly altered.  God bless him.

And Rodney King.  Ever since his first appearance to the world, as a sort of stuttering shy man pleading for peace, I have had a special place in my heart for this man.  The media talk about his “demons,” that too, I understand only too well.   I feel sad for him.  God bless him too.

Sorry, didn’t mean to go there today.  I am happy that it is Monday.  And that I have a place to go.  I feel bad that last week I felt I couldn’t bear it for one more day.  It reminds me of my days of early sobriety and PMS so bad I felt I couldn’t be trusted from one moment to the next because of the most dreadful transient depression.

We get through all these things in life – sober.  Thank God I never had to drink away any of the stuff that has occurred in my life.   That is no small thing to be grateful for!

This entry was posted in Depression, Sobriety, Training. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Remembering

  1. Dave U says:

    Sorry about your friend.
    I hope the roller coaster levels out.

  2. Pam says:

    oh…we really need our Moms at 19.

  3. Mary LA says:

    What Pam said. I love that pic of your mother, the shirtwaister dress and the sweet expression on her face. I hope this is a good week for you.

  4. luluberoo says:

    I see some of your mother in your face. How sad/sweet at the same time.

  5. My mother, unfortunately, bore most of the burden of my father’s alcoholism. I believe that is what led to her early death.

  6. Syd says:

    Your mother looks so grand in that photo. I can see some sadness in her eyes though. Many of us put on smiles to fool others into thinking that we are okay, when in reality, we are suffering.
    I am sorry to hear about the runner being killed. Those kinds of things are so tragic. And poor Rodney King–not being able to overcome his demons.

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