How did the past get to be so long ago?

Yesterday I spent the afternoon in the library of my Alma Mater doing research.  I have a job that requires research, but I have been provided no access to the databases I need.  Therefore, I went on a quest to talk someone into letting me have access to their libraries.  I seem to have found limited resources, based on my personal persuasions, rather than a real, formal, permission that I can actually use regardless of my interpersonal skills that day.

Being at my Alma Mater, I was surprised by the memories that I slammed into like a brick wall.  I had a best friend at school, both undergrad and graduate.  He was 20 years younger than I.  A young, gay alcoholic.  Not recovering.  It was an unlikely friendship, but we had so much FUN!  And he would frequently comment that he never knew he could have so much fun without adding alcohol.  He moved to Boston just after getting his bachelors degree, but continued at the Denver school to get his masters.  He would stay with me while in Denver.  We grew very close.  I hear from him from time to time now, when he wants to get sober, but he always disappears again.  I imagine he will be back in my life some day when he really gets sober.  I hope that is the case.  He is a very dangerous drunk.

I remembered like it was yesterday when I was there.  It made me feel SO old and sad.

But today is another day.  I am still alive. I am still sober. I am still very healthy for a woman of my age.  I just need to stay in today – with gratitude for God’s grace.

So put away all malice and all guile and insincerity and envy and all slander.  Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation for you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.  — 1 Peter 2:1-2

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6 Responses to How did the past get to be so long ago?

  1. luluberool says:

    I haven’t been having that “old” feeling anymore. Went through a phase (mourning my youth? what could have been? Shoulda, woulda?) but it passed. I’m in a seize the day mode lately..;)

  2. Syd says:

    I also look back on all that has gone before, the times I had, the people I knew. It often makes me sad. I want to be in this day and not mourning what once was. Hard to do for me at times. I hope that your friend gets sober.

    • I hope he gets sober too Syd. It is strange to get to a point in life where you miss more people than you even know. So many dead. So many drunk. So many just gone to me.

  3. Mary LA says:

    I love your saints, statuettes and devotional art, Mary Christine. Reminded me that today is Corpus Christi.

    I hope your friend decides to get and stay sober.

    • Here in the US, where we hate to be inconvenienced by weekday holy days, we celebrate Corpus Christi on Sunday.
      I pray for my friend as well as all those I have known for whom the program didn’t “take”
      I have heard people come back who said that they believe all the people praying for them brought them back. Particularly in the moment of silence before the meeting.

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