These are roses from last summer. At the end of a half marathon, a Vail Fireman handed me one long stemmed red rose. And then some silly friends gave me their white roses, I guess they didn’t think they could get them back home to Denver without too much damage. I got them back and enjoyed them for a while. And although I have loved florists’ roses, I have come to love the imperfect roses that I have grown in my garden. With great anticipation as they have lived through winter, budded and bloomed in spring, and gone dormant again in fall. I have a relationship with my roses.
Last night I went to the hospital to see my friend who is recovering from a quadruple bypass. It was such a shock to see him so weak and in pain. But even so, when I asked him how he was, he put a smile on his face and said “terrific!” without one trace of irony. I stayed with him for only a few minutes because I didn’t want to tire him. But I did tell him that I miss him, I am finding myself lonely, and I need my old friends. He said “me too!” We vowed to not be strangers. How I would love to just go to a coffee shop with him, drink cheap coffee, and laugh. We always found a way to laugh through some of our greatest tragedies. I have known him since I got sober. At one point we grew very close because we were both living in the same apartment building (very close to our meeting), while we were going through divorces. Later we both moved away from our home group, we sort of form a triangle with the group, he at the southeast point, me at the southwest point, and the home group at the north central point. As I left, he held my hand and said “I love you Mary.” God bless him.
This morning I got an e-mail from my best friend and former sponsor. She moved to England in 1997. I have never gone to visit her. I planned a trip at one point, but it got extremely messed up and I canceled it. I have never seriously considered visiting her again – mainly because she is drinking.
When I read what she wrote this morning, I think I have decided to go visit her. Life is too short to not have the relationships that God has blessed us with. No, none of them are perfect, but it is what we have got. And to not be grateful and relish that is just wrong. Here’s what she said at the end of the e-mail:
And do you know what? This time I am going to move heaven and earth to get you over here. I want you to see the sea, the flowers, to visit the ancient pub where the Mevagissey Male voice choir practices every monday night. I want you to walk up and down to the beach with me. I’ll even drag you off to Tai Chi and stuff. We can get on the train and go up to London! There’s a whole world waiting for you!
I need to stop pushing people out of my life and then wondering why I am always alone.
But I also need to get ready for work so that I can get to work on time and continue to have my boss love me and continue to make what might have been a living wage – for someone who doesn’t do things like plan trips to England!
Have a lovely day everyone.