On Memorial Day

This is my front porch this morning.  The flag frequently flies here, but it MUST for Memorial Day.  It is a difficult day for military families.  When my son has been away at war, I have had to tune it completely out.  This year, I can acknowledge it again.

Yesterday I went to Mass in all my Pentecost red (including red shoes and fingernails)!  As I shook the priest’s hand on the way out of church, he laughed and said “RED!”  It was funny.  Oh, did I fail to mention that my hair is also red now?

Yes, my stylist informed me that getting my hair back to my natural color will be a two step process.  The first step is getting it dark again.  And in order for the blonde highlights to not turn green, it is necessary to go with a warm color – which is kinda red.  I love, love, love red hair, it makes my eyes look so green.  But keeping red hair is not my plan.  I will just enjoy it for a month or so until I can color it again.

I had to leave the 6:30 meeting early to get to 7:30 mass.  The sponsee I write about all the time was at the meeting and followed me out.  And then talked to me for 10 minutes.  I had told her very very firmly several times that I had to go – but I finally rudely walked away.  She is still doing the exact same things as when I first started working with her a year and a half ago.  She has had three jobs in that time and it is always the same:  THEY are trying to get her fired.  THEY are talking about her behind her back.  THEY are on drugs or drinking heavily.  I told her that this is clearly HER problem, but she cannot hear this for some reason.  I don’t think I want to do this anymore either.  I advised her NOT to go to HR and complain about her boss…. she sought out other counsel who told her to go to HR and she has now done that.  I asked her what she thought she would gain from that, and she started crying.  I am NOT a job counselor.  I can’t continue this with her.  My advice to her is to pray about what she is supposed to be learning.  To pray to be helped to stop this insanity.  But she cannot own it, she cannot pray about it.  She can only be hysterical and cry and complain constantly.  It is exhausting.

I have actually had some time this weekend to read a book that I have been peeking at for about month (since I bought it).   It is “Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.” by Susan Cain.  It has been so enlightening to me!  I have always wondered why I clam up in meetings, but come back later with good ideas – and then I have been told that I should have contributed that.  Well, I don’t have ideas in meetings.  I need to get away and think – quietly.  I thought that was some deficit of mine, but it turns out it is a “deficit” of a large chunk of the population.  Introversion is clearly undervalued (if valued at all) in our workplaces.  They are mostly geared toward group think and noisy participation.

There is a paragraph in the book that is so apropos to bloggers I thought I would share it here:

Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read, to say that they can express the ‘real me’ online, and to spend more time in certain kinds of online discussions.  They welcome the chance to communicate digitally.  The same person who would never raise a hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice.  The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world.

Yep.  That’s me!

So, today I will read more of my icon notes and handouts from the two workshops I have attended.  It is mostly focused on the proper disposition to bring to icon writing.  I have a twenty-two page article about a one sentence prayer.  I used that prayer this morning for my meditation.

Jesus Christ son of God have mercy on me a sinner.

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12 Responses to On Memorial Day

  1. Syd says:

    Very interesting about introverts. I have found that those who talk the most in meetings tend to be the controllers. Also, interesting about the online expression of intimacy. A lot of truth in that.

  2. I am enjoying the reading. My husband has just been checked into the St. gregory Center. We are Catholic. I love the Icon. It’s a great form of prayer. Perhaps I should consider this as well.

  3. luluberoo says:

    I am attracted to blathering about private matters on my blog (especially my old blog), but don’t consider myself an introvert.

    People who go on talking when you tell them you MUST go are selfish.

    • I seem to be blathering more on this blog! I have examined why I do this, and I really don’t know.
      The sponsee is extremely self-centered, but it is part of the disease.

  4. Mary LA says:

    That sponsee sounds so difficult and I have had to walk away from people who act out and feel constantly victimised — that pattern is so hard to change unless the person has insight. And the desire to gain insight and change the pattern.

    I liked the reviews of that book and what you quote is so true of me — I need time alone to reflect and reach conclusions — although I can be very sociable, my best thinking is done alone and on paper.

    Your hair sounds gorgeous.

  5. Dave U says:

    I recently learned something about introverts vs extraverts. Soon, I shall pass this on to you.

  6. Richie says:

    I was given your prayer by a hermitess in the West Australian Desert around 25 years ago. I haven’t been using it recently but I will now you have jogged my memory.

  7. Annette says:

    Oh wow….thats me too!

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