I started this blog maybe a bit prematurely. I hadn’t really thought it through before it was up and I was writing. I sometimes do things this way. My “other” blog was put up during a lunch break at work one day and then ended up being something I kept for nearly seven years.
I love to write, I love the blogging process, I like the discipline of writing every day. But increasingly I felt that I was out of step with the purpose of my blog. My life is in upheaval. I am suffering from depression. I am increasingly dissatisfied with the current state of the fellowship I was writing about. It began to feel phony to write every day about it. The blog is so frequently arrived at by a poor soul desperately seeking help for their alcoholism. In my mind, it must be positive. I cannot continue to blog there about depression, exhaustion, and dissatisfaction.
Seven years ago, when I started that blog, I was a sober Catholic. But I was still at a stage when I could sort of write generically about that within the confines of traditions. After the four-year journey through the Biblical School, I was profoundly changed. It is now one year (and a day) since my graduation. I still have my nose in the Bible every day, but I am not surrounded by people of like mind. I find that my life tends to reinforce what I blog about. I need to be more about who I really am, and not be constrained by obligation to readers who may need to hear a message. I know that sounds selfish, but the message is still out there, I don’t need to add to it on a daily basis.
I am going to put a link on my old blog today. I debated doing this all weekend. I don’t expect that a lot of my readers are going to enjoy this blog. That’s OK. We all have to be true to ourselves. This blog is what I feel I must do at this point to be true to myself.
Thank you for reading. May God bless you all.