12.13.12

IMG_3818This is a photo I took on Christmas morning last year.  I wish a photo could capture all that sparkling snow, but it just can’t.

Terrible insomnia is my latest woe.  I have been awake most of the night, tossing and turning, trying desperately to go back to sleep.  And any time you want anything desperately, you are more or less doomed to failure.  At 4, I got up and got myself some coffee, and will get out of here by 6, to be at Mass at 7.  I say I can’t get to daily Mass in my new job, but I CAN, it is just a lot more difficult than it used to be.  Same thing for meetings.   Anyway, I don’t often complain about my back pain (I hope), but it is really out of control lately, and is causing me to lose sleep.  C’est la vie.

Last night a dear friend called.  We talk on the phone for hours, usually a couple of times a week, if not more.  Last night for some reason, we started talking about suicide.  We both agreed that the only thing holding either of us together is our faith in God.  I have been ruminating on that conversation ever since.  It occurs to me that he is probably in more danger than I would care to acknowledge.  I will call him today and ask him a few more questions – like:  do you have firearms in your house?  Innocent question, right?  The man has been out of work for 3 years.  If he hadn’t won the lottery a few years ago, he would be out on the streets.  But he has some money that he has to budget to the cent, and then live on what was budgeted.  He is running out of money rapidly.

My schedule today is a bit of a nightmare.  Meetings back to back to back.  First one downtown, then out to the hospital where I used to work, then back downtown…. then back to this side of town to come back home.

I am a bit of a Debbie Downer today.  Sorry.  But wait, there’s more!  My inbox is full of e-mails about “50% off, Today Only!!!”  One each day, from several retailers.  I must get myself off all these lists.  Because even at 50% off, I don’t need any of this stuff.

Mass will help get my mind going in the right direction.  Sleep deprivation is really not good for me.

Have a good day everyone.

But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid Zechariah, for your prayer is heard”  – Luke 1:13

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8 Responses to 12.13.12

  1. Mary LA says:

    Your friend is in my thoughts and prayers — as are you. I hope the back ache eases

  2. mike says:

    When I can’t sleep I say 9 “Our Fathers”

    • Thanks Mike. That sounds like one of Blessed Teresa’s “Express Novenas.”
      I listen to “Signs of Life” by Scott Hahn, narrated by Scott Hahn. It is a wonderful book that I have listened to many times. But in bed at night, it tends to put me to sleep in less than a minute. I listened to four hours of it that night without going to sleep.

  3. Dave U says:

    Yeah, I hope your friend will be OK.
    Insomnia huh? Well, read pages 1-164. (hehe)

  4. Syd says:

    Suicide is so terrible. I hope that your friend won’t act on his thoughts. I read before bedtime. And then I sleep. I seldom have insomnia but remember that it was the norm for so many years. I guess a lot of my anxiety has gone away.

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